Julian is back!!

Chapter 7

4 years later

With the presentation and defence of his final thesis, Julian realised two things; one; that he had achieved more than he had ever dreamed of; and two: that his youth was officially over.

He was no longer a young boy but a twenty-four years old man with a B.A from a prestigious university and several admission letters to begin a master's degree from other institutions in the United Kingdom. His former life was officially dead. Julian had no intentions of resurrecting it and much less to return to Madrid to play a twisted version of the Prodigal Son.

To fulfil his filial duties, he wrote to his mother once, but the letter was returned unopened and Julian briefly considered that she could have moved or been evicted from the flat. He could have phoned her to ask about the bank, the flat, work, life, but his finger froze in the middle of the process of dialling her number.

Did he really want to have her back in his life? The tawdriness of “she's the one who created your life” didn't match with his deep selfishness and for a survivor like he was, his own mother had brought nothing into his life.

What would he have told her? “I look after a dog and study to become a Historian?” Her squeaking laughter would have been too vulgar for his newly educated taste. Her screams for leaving everything behind without a single regret would have reminded him of the many afternoons, spent alone at home with no other company than the TV set.

'She could have phoned me either. I sent a SMS with the house number.'

As for his brother, Julian never thought about him ever again.

A visit to London every semester, taking the bus to Surrey and staying alone in a nice hotel for the whole week when his tests would take, was enough incentive to forget all about his nightmarish poverty disguised as “middle-class people living stressful times”.

His only “complaint” in his new life, if that could be called in that way, was his boss' attentions (or lack thereof). After that first cold winter night spent in his bed, he had been invited several times over but nothing else had happened.

Nothing at all.

And Julian hated it.

He didn't believe in the “just two pals sharing the bed” story. Going to bed with someone, especially with someone looking as good as his boss did, meant to kiss first and play later, not just sleeping and keeping the dog out of the bed.

Nevertheless, Koiranos showed no interest in anything further but saying “good night”; asking “are you cold?” (without second intentions, alas); or embracing him “to keep the warmth”.

And it drove Julian crazy for three months more till Springtime blossomed and he was sent back to his own bed.

He waited for any other kind of signal that proved Koiranos could be romantically interested in him, but none came. He used all his seduction weapons, like licking his lips, long languishing glances, choosing his outfits thinking what the man would like, but all his efforts fell on blind eyes. He changed tactics and studied harder than ever, reading all what he could... to the point of hitting his head against several trees as he used to read while walking Lýkos. The only thing he achieved was an excellent result in his tests.

For some unexplainable reason, he didn't dare to offer what he had offered so freely in the past. He felt ashamed of many of the things he had done since he was thirteen and didn't want to look “like a cheap whore” in front of his benefactor. The “Julian of Madrid” was dead and well buried as long as he was concerned.

His new “teddy-boy” look granted him several looks from the men who waited in line to visit his boss and wealthy looking tourists in Sintra. Tired of waiting for what “would never happen”, Julian decided that Fall was a good hunting season.

On his first night out, he said good-bye to Koiranos who only nodded absent mindedly, and escaped to the five stars hotel where Lucia had worked so many years ago. He only needed to order a drink a the bar, to get someone more than ready to pay for his dinner and see “what may come” afterwards.

With his self-confidence and trust in his own charms revived, Julian was more than ready to follow the thirty-something German tourist to have some fun in the back of his car as he had a shared room with his friends.

The kisses of Klaus, Hans, Jürgen or whatever his name was felt incredible as the man opened his shirt, until Julian heard a loud thump on the car's roof. Alarmed they both looked up and the large head of a wolf popped through the open windows. The German's cry when he saw the demonic yellow, glowing in the darkness eyes, almost stopped his heart.

“Don't worry, it's my dog,” Julian said when he recognized Lýkos and scurried away from under the man. “Go home,” he ordered Lýkos and stamped on the floor to add some emphasis.

But the dog didn't move, rooted in his spot, his neck hairs up and body crouched, ready to jump at the stranger's neck.

“Get the fuck out. Can't you see I'm busy?” Julian mumbled and took Lýkos by his choke collar, but the normally docile dog seemed to weight a ton. “Please,” he added.

“Where did you get that thing?” The German asked once more. “Get rid of it or get out of my car. I have no time for a Little Red Ridding Hood and his wolf.”

Julian vainly pulled from Lýkos collar but the animal only growled at the stranger. “Go home, please,” he pleaded now, knowing Lýkos was more powerful than him and there was no way he could push him away.

But Lýkos would have none of that and the way he bared his fangs to the stranger convinced him of leaving the cute Spanish thing behind and return to the safety of his own room with his family.

“Perro malo.” Julian was enraged that his date had stood him up so easily, but Lýkos' fangs caught him by the sleeve and pulled him towards the hotel's exit, out of the parking lot. The grip was strong enough as to cause pain but not blood. Afraid of losing his new shirt on top of a good date, Julian followed the animal wondering all the way back home how he could have followed him for some fifteen kilometres.

Second and third dates ended in similar ways too, with Lýkos always interrupting him in the most delicate moments.

Julian lost his patience with the dog. As Lucia had told him “Lýkos is Mr. Koiranos' problem”, he complained to the man that the dog didn't respect his off-duty days and scared his friends away.

“Lýkos has always been very possessive. Let him be,” Koiranos had answered laconically. “There is no problem as long as he bites nobody. If that circumstance arises, ask the wounded person for his data and contact the insurance company.”

On the fourth “escapade” Julian decided to take the bus to Lisbon and spend the night there as the money in his bank account allowed him to do that now. He walked to the bus stop, the same place where he had met Lýkos, and waited. Out of nowhere, Lýkos, covered in mud, appeared and shook the dirt off, two steps away from the pristine boy.

Incensed, Julian returned home to shower and change. Furious with the dog, he didn't look at him while he threw his stained clothes to the laundry, showered and changed.

Once he was finished, Lýkos decided that was the best moment to fix his strained relationship with his caregiver. He jumped and placed his muddy paws on Julian's shoulders as he licked his face.

Julian realised several things at that point: One, he was dirty again and had no third “party on” outfit; Two, Lýkos was still dirty and Koiranos could get very upset his “puppy” was wetting soak; Third, his bedroom and the kitchen floors were dirty and tomorrow was Sunday and the cleaning ladies were away, and Fourth, his bedclothes were muddied too.

There was no way he could clean everything on time to take the last bus to Lisbon. That Saturday night, Julian was in his own bed at ten-thirty, reading a book, sharing said bed with a large, shining and dozing wolfdog.

Julian gave up to idea of dating. 'After all, there's nobody to tell what I did this weekend,' he told himself, resigned to his miserable fate. 'Nobody is going to ask me who I fucked with.'

Winter returned and Julian felt full of hopes when he was again invited to the large, fur covered bed.

And nothing, but a few more clumsy caresses happened. He also got a “We are happy that you are here with us” that filled his heart with a mix of feelings. Happiness to be part of something he still didn't understand: Pride to be treated as an equal by the man and his “pet”; and Love for the man who embraced him every night, protecting him from the outside and guiding him in the interior of his already complicate life.

At twenty-one years old, Julian fell truly in love for the first time in his life, but he didn't dare to tell it as he was well aware that he was a nobody and Koiranos obviously had money and connections; he was nothing but a suburban uneducated boy while Koiranos had an encyclopedic knowledge almost about everything. He felt ashamed that he had wasted most of his life doing nothing worth and pledged himself to at least finish what his benefactor had coerced him to start with.

Perhaps, if he were someone, Koiranos would take an interest on him.

Perhaps.

* * *

“Our Julian is now a doctor!” Lucía shouted when she saw the young man descend from the taxi driving him back from the airport. She pulled open the car's door and squeezed Julian the minute he got out of the car.

“No, I'm just a History graduate,” he answered with a proud smile and returned the hug the woman had given him. “Where's Lýkos?” he asked puzzled the wolf-dog had not jumped on him as he did every time he was returning from London.

“Mr. Koiranos took him for a walk. He was very upset with your absence, dear,” Lucía answered as Julian paid the taxi-driver. “They will be back for lunch.”

“No visitors today?” he asked in shock as he noticed how empty the courtyard looked without the expensive cars parked.

“None at all. He cleared his whole agenda for the next two or three weeks. I think he needs at holiday. He told me something about travelling abroad but he was not very clear at all.”

“As usual,” half smiled Julian, knowing how Koiranos expected everybody to do his will but never bothering to inform the rest of the world what was his fancy. The years had more or less taught him how to “read” his employer's moods and probably he would be truly considering to go away for a few days. His concern now was what to do next in the case he could be fired.

* * *

As announced, Koiranos returned at lunch time to lock himself in the library. Julian's own brooding disappeared the minute he saw the wolf-dog stealing one of his dirty shirts and running away in the forest's direction.

Julian's concerns returned when Lucia told him to have lunch with the master, something that had never happened in the past. 'I'm out,' was the first thing he thought, but walked towards the dinning room with a happy Lýkos trotting in tow.

“You're late,” almost barked Koiranos as all welcome.

“I took Lýkos to the forest. I apologise for my lateness,” Julian answered contrite as the wolf-dog dived under the tablecloth to sit at his master's feet.

“You mean Lýkos took you to the forest,” the man corrected him as he started to serve the vichyssoise.

“Yes, sir,” Julian replied a bit shocked the man always knew what was going on even if he kept himself isolated from the rest of the house. “We'll go for you magazine after lunch,” he added.

“No need to. I cancelled it today.”

Julian's heart sunk at the words and watched Koiranos expectantly, but he was lost in his thoughts as he ate his soup. 'I'm finished with the task he set and perhaps he's bored of me,' he thought, feeling more and more nervous. He cast his eyes down and wondered how he was going to continue if Koiranos were to dismiss him.

He was certain that he would miss the man long silences and the way he frowned every time he was meditating upon something. In all the years they had been “together”, Julian had not been able to discover anything about him.

At the beginning, ignoring everything about him had been unimportant as his paycheck was every month deposited in his bank account, but as his love for him grew -along with the man's reserve- he needed to know more about him.

He didn't care any longer that he had to be away from the living room, office or main rooms when Koiranos had visitors no matter if it was raining or snowing. Julian had been able to recognize a few as well-known politicians, industrials or bankers, but he didn't care what was their business with his “boss”.

Julian only longed to spend the evening with him, commenting a book, his studies or simply brushing the dog as Koiranos read or wrote using an old fountain pen in total silence. The scribbles he saw when Koiranos forgot for the first time a few pages on the dinning table, made him thought it was an Armenian or Georgian alphabet, but some of the signs didn't make any sense at all. He searched hard for anything that would match the discarded example, but found nothing. He even asked one of his assigned tutors but the man also came empty handed as it was unlike anything he had seen before. “It's some kind of Enigma, but most probably it's just a corrupted stenography sample. Some intellectuals develop their own codes if they still write in the old fashion.”

Julian accepted the answer as he loved to live in a big house, full of antiquities from the most diverse backgrounds. He loved the three Asmolean sculptures placed in one of the corridors or the seven wonderful Greek vases kept in a glass showcase in the living room. He simply adored the large tapestry that hung framed behind a thick glass, decorating the dinning room. The embroidered depiction of a Middle Age battle, with the lines of foot-soldiers, larger than their horses knights, archers and a group of kings and princes, sitting on their horses, looking down at the battlefield from the security of their hill. Julian suspected that Koiranos had bought the tapestry because one of the knights -or prince- surrounding the king, dressed in a black armour with the helmet on, had a large wolf laying at the feet of his horse.

Lýkos was his prized pet, and that wolf certainly looked very similar to him. Undoubtedly, such tapestry would have taken the fancy of a rich and eccentric man as Koiranos.

If his boss loved to write with funny letters, it was nothing of his business.

In a way, the silent and glum giant had become the centre of his life.

Overwhelmed by the silence, Julian continued to eat. When he finished his piece of meat, Koiranos shook his head several times, but said nothing as he crossed his silverware on the dish. The gesture triggered in Julian's mind's eye the figure of the Holhenstein-Stadel Lion Man but he quickly dismissed it as it was not the moment to remember old lessons.

“I need a holiday,” Koiranos announced and Julian held his breath. “It's been some time since I visited a city. Too many people around. Too much noise and pollution.”

Julian briefly wondered why the man was so dramatic in his formulations if he should be around his mid-thirties. Then he remembered that in his four years under his service, Koiranos had never left the house to go anywhere. Not even to Sintra.

“Do you want to go to Madrid? To visit your family?” Koiranos asked.

“Madrid?” babbled Julian.

“Where you not from that place?”

“Yes, I was born there,” Julian said slowly as the idea of seeing his family terrified him. No, the idea of Koiranos seeing his blood terrified him. “No, I don't have much contact with my family,” he admitted. “They never understood my way of life,” he went for the safe cliché as he suspected Koiranos somehow knew he preferred men over women.

“Ah,” was Koiranos' answer. Julian realised at that point that he had never seen anyone related to his employer.

“Does your family lives there?” he dared to ask but didn't expect to get an answer as the man was once more far away, lost in his thoughts.

“No. My original family died long time ago,” he answered softly. “Lýkos is all what I have left from that time.”

Julian longed to ask where the man was from but his courage was over. Because of his last name, he suspected he was from Greek origin, but the red hair and grey eyes didn't match with the idea he had of how a Greek should look. “I was born in the Dordogne,” Koiranos said and Julian looked at him surprised that he had gotten an answer. “It is in France,” he added. “Do you like France?”

“I was nowhere else but Madrid, Lisbon, Sintra, London and Surrey,” Julian said.

“Then, we'll go to Paris and we'll see from there,” Koiranos decided. “We'll fly in three days.”

“Yes, sir,” Julian said.

“Tell Lucia to phone Desmoulins to arrange everything. We will use the house at Avenue Marceau. It's practically new as it was made for the Exhibition.

The hundred of questions in Julian's mind died the moment Koiranos rose from the table and said. “Ah, I almost forgot it. Will you be interested in taking Prof. Morgenthau's position? You walk Lýkos in the morning and then, you both can take care of my library. You will be paid accordingly.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir,” Julian accepted in shock. “I don't know much about libraries,” he said, realising how big the task was.

“You didn't know much about dogs and here you are. Lýkos is happy with you. Prof. Morgenthau catalogued and organized most of the XIX and XX century books.”

“Yes, everything is in perfect order, but I have seen some new boxes. Unopened.”

“Those are the new ones. Enter the names in the computer and place them where they should go.”

“When I was studying there, I saw some facsimiles of very old ones. Incunabula.”

“Yes, my older books are in the vault. Do not worry about them. They are well protected and preserved. I will give you the code later. Prof. Morgenthau had the idea of photographing them to “digitalize them”-Koiranos pronounced the word carefully- and I allowed it.

“Do you have a vault?”

“Occupies the equivalent of the cellar of this house. Sunlight is deadly for old leather bound volumes. The people who built it also worked at the Vatican solving the same problems I had. It's a lifetime collection.”

“When did you buy it?” Julian couldn't help to ask.

“Ancestors. We always liked books. Take Lýkos out and I´ll show it to you later.”

* * *

Still baffled for the “new job” he had just obtained, Julian went to the kitchen to inform Lucia of her tasks. She didn't seem to be surprised and casually asked if Mr. Koiranos wants a plane or if she should buy tickets.”

“Didn't say it,” Julian answered in shock. “I've been promoted to librarian, it seems,” he added. “A plane?”

“Mr. Koiranos dislikes people,” Lucia sighed. “Whenever he travels he rents a plane, but it been quite some time since he was out of the country. Are you really the new librarian? The modern part of the library shouldn't be a problem, but the vault is going to be a nightmare. Prof. Morgenthau was always complaining of all the work that needed to be done. Poor man!”

“Was he not gone?”

“Maybe, maybe not. He had no reason to disappear. He had a good job, a good salary, a family and he and the master were very close friends.”

“Very close friends,” Julian asked puzzled and Lucia blushed. “That close?” he realised.

“I don't know,” she mumbled and Julian's blue eyes pierced hers. “They were together a lot,” she told him, blushing even more. “Look, I know nothing about the things that happen between men. I'm not that modern,” she declared, buffing a bit.

“Between men?” Julian repeated dying to know more and joyous at the same time.

“Yes, not between man and woman,” she growled. “It's none of my business and they seemed to be all right together. Prof. Morgenthau was a very cultivated man with many degrees.”

“How old was he then?” Julian asked.

“About forty-five. Maybe more. Maybe he was sick with one of those incurable things. In the last months, he looked very haggard and was not speaking much with the master. He lost interest in his work and said that some things were better well be forgotten.”

“That's a weird comment.”

“He said once. 'Some knowledge is better left to the gods. It's not for men'. Maybe he had cancer or a brain tumour. His sister was very shocked when he just vanished.”

Nervous, but unable to identify the source of his uneasiness, Julian grabbed a yellow tennis ball from the kitchen drawer where he kept Lýkos toys. “I'm out. We'll be back in an hour or two.”

* * *

The forest had a calming effect upon Julian. He just loved the grandiose silence only interrupted by the sound of the wind rattling the leaves. Lýkos trotted next to him, glad to have his caregiver back.

The wolf dog stared at him when Julian got the abhorred yellow ball out of his pocket. For some unknown reason, the boy found highly entertaining and funny to throw the object away, expecting him to return it. Lýkos watched the arc drawn by the ball and his acute ears informed him where it had landed, but he didn't move a muscle.

“You're supposed to run after it!” Julian told him for the hundredth time. “All dogs do it! But you're a wolf-dog and wolves don't run after balls,” he whined but went after the ball, something the animal found very entertaining.

“One last chance, Lýkos. Imagine it´s a rabbit,” Julian said, throwing the ball far away from the path.

Lýkos was dammed if he was going to go in that direction.

He sat and growled warningly when the boy sighed and began to walk towards where the ball had landed.

“Come on! At least come with me!” Julian called Lýkos but the wolf-dog didn't move an inch. “Great,” he mumbled as he looked between the gigantic ferns that hid the vertical cliff less than a meter away from them.

“Could use a superior nose like yours,” Julian shouted as he fruitlessly searched, crouched between the plants, unaware of the danger in front of him.

He clearly saw the ball, but didn't see the long fall ahead of him or the slippery moss. Julian rose to his feet and advanced towards it, happy to have found it when Lýkos jumped on him throwing him to the ground, heavily falling on his back

“What the hell...?” shouted Julian to hide his fear that the large animal had attacked him. Terrified, he saw how the animal removed his paws from his shoulders and intensively watched where the ball used to be. Slowly, the youth sat and carefully, advancing on his fours saw the six or seven metres vertical free fall.

“Could have broken my neck,” he realised more afraid than before, peering at the abyss where only moss grew. “Thanks, pal,” he patted the animal with real affection.

He turned around and sat again, slowly breathing, trying to recover his gut. “You knew that, didn't you?” he asked the animal. “You know everything,” he mumbled and wondered how Lýkos could have run some forty metres so fast and silently. The dog had been sitting far away.

With great care, he slowly rose and cleaned his trousers. Feeling braver than before, he wanted to watch death in the face once more and his gaze peered all along the cliff, devoid of ferns and only covered with green moss and small plants.

He saw a blue-orange jacket at the bottom.

And a mop of hairs where the head should had been.

Covering his mouth to prevent a cry to escape, he turned around to run back home.