Love and Lust

Chapter 9

“Orion?” Julian tried the newly learnt name softly, but Koiranos didn't pay attention to him, too engulfed in his contemplation of the darkness outside the metro wagon. He had almost fell in a mystic trance when he had seen the Carrousel du Louvre with its stores and had dragged Julian to the first convoy he had seen.

“Orion?” he tried again and gave up as the man showed no interest on him or in any of the persons in the wagon.

“Are you hungry?” Orion finally asked after two stations.

“I'm not Lýkos,” Julian chuckled nervously as the answer was nothing he would have expected. “I think we might be lost. Next stop is the end of the line.”

“So?”

“End stations are normally the poorest areas. I know it, believe me,” Julian explained him softly, unable to believe what a mama's boy his boss was if he didn't know something so basic. The three men staring at them had probably calculate how much money Koiranos had just because of the expensive clothes he was wearing.

“Therefore?” Orion asked again.

“It's not a place you want to walk after dark, especially if it's not your hood. I think we should return.”

“I've been in greater battles,” Orion snorted visibly amused. He fixed his eyes in the three men as they took yellowish shade, like a predator looking at his next meal. Much to Julian's astonishment, the men rose from their seats and walked to the next wagon.

“Like dog, like master,” he whispered and immediately realised his words. “I'm sorry, sir. Orion.”

“Or vice versa,” chuckled Orion not offended at all. “Lýkos can be more ferocious than I ever was,” he remembered dreamingly. “He never showed any fear or self preservation instinct. His mere sight made the enemies run away.”

“He could have been handy when I was in high-school,” Julian said, thinking that Orion was again exaggerating his pet's abilities. “A wolf is a wolf and my heart almost stopped the first time I saw him, but then, he adopted me.”

“He decided I had not enough qualifications as to be in his service. Ah, we are here,” he announced and rose from his seat.

“Should we not take a taxi back home?” Julian grasped for air as he climbed the stairs up at full speed as Orion walked well ahead him.

“No, I like this.”

Still panting from the last run to the departing wagon, Julian sat next to Koiranos. “Is it your first time in metro?”

“More or less. In one like this one, yes.”

“You're really from the provinces,” mumbled Julian.

“I don't like cities, that's right.”

“What do you like?”

“Not many things,” Orion said. “I like my peace; to live in the countryside, but that gets harder and harder; or to take care of my... family.”

“Do you have a family?” Julian asked with eyes wide open.

“Yes, you and Lýkos.”

“Me?”

“Would that be a problem?”

“No,” was the only thing Julian could whisper.

“I think it is time that we deepen our friendship. You have showed no repulsion to my touch and I have enjoyed having you near. We should share the bed on a permanent basis.”

Julian gaped at him. “I...”

“You have reached the certain age when you leave childhood behind. Lýkos likes you and your attitude towards life makes you an ideal companion for us both.”

“It's not how I imagined so,” Julian whispered as he looked the grey formica seats. No candlelights, no eternal love declaration, no romantic set. Nothing at all.

“How was that? Tell me. I'm flexible and I think I could accommodate to your wishes.”

“Let it. It's already ruined,” he buffed.

Koiranos let a long buff out. “Perhaps I rushed things over, but from our night encounters, I concluded that you liked to be in my bed and lusted after me.”

“I don't lust after you!” Julian protested. “Perhaps it was in the beginning. Do you even love me?”

“Love you? I want that you keep me company for the rest of your life.”

Julian got lost in the man's eyes. What he had dreaded and desired all these years was standing right in front of him. Yet the cliff was too deep and his head spun around.

“Bed?” was the only thing he could utter.

* * *

More nervous than when he had laid down for the first time in the back of a nameless car, Julian held his breath, contemplating the new yet oddly familiar bed standing against the wall. He swallowed hard as he didn't know what to do now as Koiranos had spoken nothing at all, lost in his own dreams.

Alone in the master bedroom, the doubts assaulted him once more. Although Orion had not specifically said that he loved him, this “bed” meant having sex instead of “keeping the warmth.” In the past, Julian had been more than ready to engage in a casual sex night, but now, he was afraid. Somehow, he felt this was not a mere good-time moment. He felt like he was standing at the threshold of something bigger than him and the fluttering butterflies in his stomach had nothing to do with love.

He was terrified that he would not be good enough for Koiranos.

He was terrified he would be sent away.

He was terrified to lose all what he held dear.

The statue lamp in the form of a Morish dancer didn't give him a clue of what to do.

He stood in the middle of the room and waited.

The large body collided against his chest and Julian felt himself lifted off the ground and pushed against the cream wall. Hardly recovered from the shock, he had barely time to open his mouth to receive the mouth that was fiercely kissing him. Shyly, his arms laced the short, powerful neck and laid his weight against the giant devouring him.

Two powerful hands lifted his thighs in the air as they repositioned him over Orion's hips, his body pressing him further against the wall. Julian ignored the pain caused by his head hitting the window frame, joyous that his partner also liked wild sex.

The boy's legs trapped the man as his manhood humped against the other, relinquishing in the feeling of the erection beneath his. He moaned and arched his neck, hoping Orion would kiss him there.

But Orion nearly dropped him to the floor as he took a step backwards. Doing his best to recover his lost balance, Julian looked how the man loosened his trousers and underwear to kick them away from him, before his hands repeated the same action with his clothes.

“Wait!” Julian protested as noting was not as he had imagined it, but Orion ignored him, only focused in squeezing his buttocks brutally and possessively. “We need a condom,” the boy growled and pushed the man away.

“Nothing between us,” Koiranos said with a deep voice Julian had never heard. “We must feel each other.”

“I've heard that hundred of times and always said: feel your mother!” Julian blurted out. “Who knows what you've been doing! And with who!”

“I'm... I have no diseases.” A loud snort from Julian made Orion half close his lids and growl: “It's my way or you go home.”

Julian was petrified and cowered against the wall. “Say that you want the gift I'm going to give you,” Koiranos stated closing the distance between them. “No hesitations or fears.”

Julian contemplated the man and instinctively knew he was on dark and deep waters. “What would you give me?” he asked softly, trying to distract the man, as he looked for a way out.

“My love and my wisdom,” Orion said and Julian´s heartbeat slowed down, lulled by the softness in the voice. His memory showed him the times they had slept together and how delicately Orion had caressed his hair or checked that he was not cold.

“Take me,” he said the words very softly. “I trust you,” he added, putting his small hand on the nape of his lover as Orion's hands repositioned themselves over his buttocks, languorously caressing them before he pinched them.

The searing pain at being penetrated without any preambles made Julian cry in pain, but Orion didn't pay attention to him. His thrusts were rhythmic and he only minded to get the right angle so he could penetrate the youth deeper.

Julian cried a second time, but Orion ignored him as the hands held him firm in place, no allowing escape or to stop him. His body squeezed him against the wall as Julian's only support was the man's hips.

Julian knew that fighting would be useless as he was much smaller and weaker than the other. The burning tears falling down his cheeks was the only sign of his fight and he let the big man rode him in a violent way.

A deafening moan in his ear, told him that Orion had ejaculated deep inside him. Julian pushed the man away, but he didn't move or let his mate escape from his hold, pressing him against the wall even more.

Julian stood motionless, spent and in pain, his head resting against the shoulder of Koiranos.

The large hand began to pet his hair again and the soft voice he knew began to speak in his ear in a language he didn't know. The cadence calmed him down and the pain began to disappear. His arms clutched stronger the neck and he looked for comfort in the arms of the man who had hurt him so much. He felt that Orion went down to his knees, always keeping his legs tangled around his hips and his hands began to draw soothing circles in his back, over the crumpled shirt.

“You're very beautiful, Julian,” he heard him saying. “You were very brave, little one.”

Julian couldn't find his voice and only took deep breaths. “We are very fortunate that we found you.” The boy gaped at Orion's grey eyes unable to understand him, but his next sentence and actions reassured him that whatever had happened was what the both were looking for.

“We will be together for a long time, my beloved.” Koiranos said after he had taken the shaken boy in his arms to put him in his bed, lovingly covering him with the covers.

* * *

“Do you feel better?” Orion asked, slightly shaking Julian's shoulder.

The boy opened his eyes, feeling exhausted and dazed. He looked around, momentarily unaware of his surroundings and closed his eyes, unable to keep them open for longer.

“Why did you do this?” he asked softly and Orion patted his side with real tenderness.

“The first time must be like this. It's a test of your character,” Koiranos replied softly. “Did I hurt you much?”

Julian watched at the man and a long list of insults came to his mind, but he couldn't utter them. “It was rough, but not as much as it was with another boyfriend of mine.”

“It will never happen again. I have no reasons to do it. You understand well the dynamics of our relationship. We have been together for several years and you are well aware of what is expected of you. I have caused no permanent damage to you.”

“Swear that. On what you hold dearest,” Julian said sternly. “Or I swear, you will never see me again.”

“I swear on my life that I will never be so brutal with you.”

“Swear it on your mother,” Julian insisted.

“Would you swear on your mother's sake?”

“No, never,” the boy admitted slowly.

“Mine is dead since a long time so it makes no sense to swear on her memory. I hold your company in my highest esteem, Julian. I would not like to loose it.”

“Sometimes, you speak so funny,” Julian said with a smile as he caressed Orion's cheek.

“This is not my mother tongue. Sometimes I get confused,” Orion said as pulled the boy closer to his chest and Julian returned the embrace, all grudges forgotten.

* * *

Being shaken awake was not the pinnacle of love-making in Julian's romantic ideology. Normally, his bed partners, included the always in a hurry Ahmed, would tell him a few love words or place a few hungry kisses on his lips before taking matters one step further. He was not a street walker like many others whose names he could accurately list.

Orion had a different view on the matter. He simply shook Julian awake and without any preambles, he began to lick the side of the boy's neck, climbing on top of him as his hands seemed to multiply.

“Can you not be a little bit more romantic?” Julian complained as he felt like nothing else but a doll.

“Romantic?” Orion breathed in his ear and returned to lick his neck with more enthusiasm than before. “Poetry? Marlowe?”

“Forget it,” the boy huffed. “At least you tried,” he mumbled with a certain anger lacing his voice but his annoyance vanished as the tongue traveled down through his chest. Julian closed his eyes in bliss, the images of what was going to happen forming inside his mind.

But the tongue left his body and two large hands placed themselves around his hips and turned him around, coaxing him to go on his fours. Julian's body tensed but the feel of Orion's face softly caressing his back, relaxed him, falling down into a cloud of lust. The penetration felt painless and Julian bit his dry lips as the rocking moves increased their speed and strength of pushes.

Julian placed all his weight over his palms as his body slightly changed its position to better feel Orion's moves. The right hand of Orion took him strongly by the neck as he forced him to keep his head raised in a perfect alignment with his backbone, while the left one firmly held him by the hips. Long before he would have wanted, Julian reached his climax and felt his companion do the same almost immediately.

Spent, Julian only scooped on the bed as his eyes glimpsed the abandoned on the bedside table watch strike midnight.

“The moon is up,” he heard his lover whisper in his ear long time after. Still dazed, Julian opened his eyes again and meet those of Orion's.

“It's very late,” he complained. “Tomorrow,” he said in a conciliatory voice.

“Please, Julian, wake up,” Orion's deep voice sent shivers along his spine. The powerfully built man's body, shining under the silver light filtering through the high ceiling windows ignited his desire and his smaller hand traveled across the sinewy arm, caressing it.

The youth watched how Orion laid on the bed as he pulled him over his hips, letting the boy sit on top of him. Already knowing what was expected of him, and letting go all what he had considered to be “the proper way” of making love, he inserted himself over the man's erected member.

Julian's gaze got lost on the filtering rays as the pleasure roaming his inside increased like a wave of heat engulfing his soul. His head fell to one side as his body pumped the man beneath him. All his body relaxed as the spots of dust danced in a whirlwind around him.

“Keep your back straight,” Orion admonished Julian in a sharp tone as his hand corrected his back's slightly slouched position. Startled, Julian obeyed, getting once more lost in the pleasure he was receiving.

Laying over the broad chest, on the limit of his forces, he contemplated the man slowly breathing under him. His hand slowly caressed the contours of a well defined torso, more suitable to a extreme sports athlete to the man who spent almost the whole day locked up in his library. Never before, none of his lovers had been so fitted or beautiful in a manly way and for a second Julian missed the fact that his former friends were not there so he could had bragged about his conquest.

Only for a second.

“Hey, that was like a bed marathon,” he said and smiled shyly, not knowing why he was so affected by what they had done.

“It was hard for me to wait for so long, but we needed to be sure of you.”

“Of me?”

“Yes, of you. Perhaps you wanted to go away or lacked what was needed to stay here.”

“After tonight's, the wait was well worth it,” Julian grinned. “A true biathlon,” he tested a joke. “You look quite fit to be in one.”

“Already won the gold many years ago,” Orion chuckled and Julian's smile broadened.

“Yes, in modesty,” he joked again.

“That's not an Olympic category.”

Julian bended with laughter. “You're not what you look like.”

“How do I look like?”

“Like someone aloof who wants no contact with anyone else but your dog,” Julian answered softly.

“That's true. I dislike ordinary people, but you are no ordinary people.”

“Thank you,” Julian muttered blushing deeply. “You're quite unique yourself.”

“One in my category,” now Orion joked.

“Like Lýkos.”

“Exactly.”

“I thought you were like an iceberg and here we are,” sighed Julian. “One of the best ever.”

“We are not finished yet, Julian.” The boy gaped at him. “Tomorrow night,” he stated seriously. “I want you to enjoy it and watch all what we do. It's most important that you do it. Instinctively, you know exactly what to do and where you should pay attention. Not many men can do this. Just follow your instincts and let me do the rest.”

Julian only rose an eyebrow and bent his body over Orion's, to place a kiss on the man's lips. He was surprised the boy had done it, and returned it with delicacy. “Then, we'll see later,” he winked, happy that Orion was so playful in bed.