Chapter 27
May
26th,
2012
Zurich
The large limousine parked in
front of his house and Konrad felt his nervousness bite his entrails
as his heart accelerated for no apparent reason. With great effort he
waited for the driver to open his door and just to remember on time
he had to release the baby from his car seat. He enjoyed when the
child smiled and extended his arms to be picked up and Konrad held
him against his chest, protecting the head with his right hand.
Friederich walked toward his
pupil and looked at the blond baby, clutching Konrad's neck and shyly
hiding his head in his shoulder at the same time he peered at the old
man. “May I?” Friederich asked with a broken voice and Konrad
gave him the child.
“His name is Konrad, too,”
he said softly. “He is perfect health conditions.”
“Is he Guntram's...?”
“I don't know, I don't care. I
destroyed the DNA results. He does not want to know, so it shouldn't
matter to me either.”
“He looks exactly as him,”
Friederich said as he caressed with his stiff hands the small head.
“What if someone contests the paternity?”
“The lawyers kept the results,
Friederich. They will only disclose them in case of medical need.
Guntram told me he has not inherited the genetic markers for his kind
of heart failure. The doctors will repeat those studies too, just to
be on the safe side.”
“When does he come home?”
“Tonight, if everything runs
smoothly at the clinic. They only need to make some more tests but
nothing will change the prognosis.”
The old man's clear blue eyes
looked at Konrad with evident sorrow as he clutched the baby in his
arms. “I prefer it this way, Friederich,” Konrad said very
softly. “If God helps us, it can get better or we can find a donor.
He's just on the limit. He will need as much peace as he can have.
According to his doctor, it's a miracle he's alive.”
Friederich watched how Konrad
took the baby from his arms and smiled at him and turned around to
take him to the playground where Klaus and Karl were playing that
Saturday morning.
* * *
Eberhard had kissed goodbye his
original plan of letting the boys play alone and read a book. Both
brothers had woken up with the wrong foot and had been continuously
fighting since breakfast. The tutor watched how Karl was already
filling up a bucket with sand with a clear intention of pouring it
over Klaus' collection of shiny cars, all lined up on top of a bench.
“Karl!” he shouted. “Leave
your brother alone. You both just made your peace ten minutes ago.
Let's try to have a break till lunchtime, shall we?”
“What?” the blond boy asked
innocently as his brother looked at him suspiciously.
“You don't need to carry a
bucket full of sand around. You are only distributing sand all over
the garden without any real purpose. If you want to play with sand,
stay in the sandbox,” Eberhard said firmly.
With great dignity Karl returned
to the sandbox, still peeking at his brother and hoping to catch him
unaware at some point later.
“Papa!” Klaus yelled, seeing
his father approaching them, carrying a small baby in his arms. The
children left what they were doing and ran toward him to look at the
newcomer with great curiosity.
Konrad kept the baby in his arms
although he was wriggling to be put down and join the other two boys.
“What's his name?” Klaus
asked perching himself over his father's arm.
“Konrad.”
“We know your name, papa,”
Karl laughed. “His name,” his finger pointed at the giggling
baby.
“His name is Konrad, just like
me.” Konrad said with a grin. “Do you think you would be able to
look after him this afternoon?” he asked casually and released the
baby, crawling away toward the sandbox as fast as his short legs
allowed him.
“He's funny,” was Klaus'
verdict after watching the infant's hard efforts to get inside the
sandbox and continue crawling in a direct line toward the red bucket.
“Is he staying here?” Karl
asked after the baby had quickly emptied all his buckets and was
making a mess of everything.
“For a while,” Konrad said
innocently. “You have to be careful that he eats nothing. Babies
chew everything, like now.” He walked toward the child and put away
from his rosy mouth the sand forms he was enthusiastically biting.
'As Goran tells, biting runs in Guntram's family.'
Klaus jumped inside the sandbox
and the baby giggled and tried to walk toward him. “He's funny,”
he said and ruffled the child's hair. “Does he speak?”
“No, not really,” Konrad
said. “He understands English. You can try to teach him some
German.”
“How long is he staying?”
Karl inquired, walking toward the sandbox and trying to catch the
child's attention as he was completely pending of the funny faces his
brother was making for him.
“Till tonight at least,”
Konrad answered as he took distance from the sandbox, partly glad
that his children were now ignoring him in favour of the blonde baby.
“Is he Guntram's?” Eberhard
whispered in his ear.
“Yes, he is. The boys seem to
be happy with him.”
“Yes, that's right. What do I
do with him? I know nothing about babies.”
“Birgitte will look after him.
She knows what to do. By the way, I'm not hiring another nanny. She
will take that position from now onward. The boys respect her.”
“I understand. It's a good
choice. When is Guntram coming home?”
“I don't know, perhaps this
evening, but we are not sure. It all depends on him. I'm returning to
the hospital now.”
“Send him my greetings,
please.”
After casting one last glance at
his children, relieved that they were amiably playing, the Duke
turned around and walked to his car.
* * *
“How did it go?” Goran asked
when Konrad entered in the hospital suite private living room.
“They seem to get along. The
boys find him funny, but I didn't say who he is.”
“No need. Guntram can do it by
himself. He's still sleeping from the anaesthesia. Dr. van Horn says
that this catheterism will make him feel better.”
“Thank you.”
“Lacroix visited me yesterday
night. He has given everything he had. Our people are looking into
the files.”
“It changes nothing, does it?”
Konrad asked bitterly.
“Not for us, but for them.”
“Goran, don't speak with
riddles.”
“I've spoken with Guntram. He
doesn't want to see him. I did try my best but he told me to mind my
own business.”
“Really?”
“'If that piece of shit comes
near my son or me, I swear I'll shoot him dead.' Those were his
words, more or less, and considering his aiming skills and past
experiences, I would take this threat very seriously.”
“Do we get rid of him?”
Konrad said full of hope.
“No, Lacroix wants to
cooperate to win his son back. It's a good deal for us and maybe
Guntram calms down in the future. Repin told him the whole story
about his father's deals.”
“Do you have any news about
Antonov?”
“Nothing so far. No contacts
with anyone. The trail of the bodies he left stops at Oblomov's
mistress' flat. It's been almost a month since we heard anything from
him.”
“Alexei always worked alone,
but perhaps this time he couldn't finish his mission.”
“I think he's hunting Repin.
Like I did with the ones who killed my brother.”
“If Repin ever comes back...”
“He will come back at some
point. He considers young Konrad is his son. He will not give him
up.”
“The security around us is
very strong. Only a lunatic would try it again.”
“The same who fooled us a few
years ago. Repin is a patient man. He waited seven years to have
Guntram all to himself. Maybe it takes ten years, but he will return
for what he wants; the child.”
“We must find him. Oblomov
did.”
“Oblomov had an enormous
strike of luck. Repin has learned his lesson now, he will not repeat
the same mistake. All what Guntram told me is useless. Kuragin, his
money and his people vanished into thin air after blowing Oblomov
into oblivion. I'm not even sure that the people he saw at Stockholm
were Repin's soldiers,” Goran said dejectedly. “Guntram was able
to make several sketches of his face and of his people but this will
be useless in the end.”
“This cannot end like this,
Goran. It will not end like this.”
“It's infuriating but I see no
other exit for all of us.”
“So we sit and wait?” Konrad
hissed.
“We will continue with the
search, but for Guntram's sake, you should not be involved. This
nightmare has to stop for him and if you begin another war, he will
not survive it. He needs to forget and enjoy the time he has to
live.”
“Are you a psychiatrist now?”
“No, I'm not,” Goran said
softly. “War is a state of mind, not a real physical event, my
Griffin. War starts in your mind long before you reach the
battlefield. War ends when you give up or consider your claims as
fulfilled.”
“What should we do?”
“Let it go. Your war with
Repin has costed us more than we can afford. Do you want to make
Guntram's life harder than it already is?”
“I'll meditate on your words,”
Konrad replied and turned around. “Double the security measures
around my house and tell young Bregovic to proceed with that woman.
She knows nothing that could be useful to us.”
“Very well, my Griffin.”
* * *
“For a minute, I thought you
were planning to spend the night here,” Konrad said with a smile,
watching his lover in adoration under the afternoon dying lights. “If
I have to eat something more from that cafeteria, your doctor will
have another patient.”
“Hi,” Guntram murmured with
a sleepy smile and for a second the man remembered the youth he had
seen in Venice. “Where is Konrad?” he asked, quickly sitting on
the bed, alarmed that his son was nowhere to be seen.
“Making Eberhard's life hard.
Between you and me, your cousin does not work much. He takes things
very lightly.”
“Is he with my cousin?”
Guntram said, pushing Konrad away and sitting on the bed. “Why??”
he shouted.
“Klaus and Karl have to meet
their brother at some point. They're very happy and find him very
funny. Even after Konrad dumped Klaus' cars in the pond and scribbled
on Karl's school project.”
“You left him with them?”
Guntram asked incredulously. “Why? I asked you to look after him!”
“Bringing
children to hospitals is never a good idea, Maus.
Birgitte was looking after him and he had lunch, took a nap, turned
the nursery upside down and had a great time with his brothers. Klaus
told me he wants one like him for Christmas.”
“I...”
“Doctor says you can leave
whenever you want. Everything is fine,” Konrad said with an even
voice. “Why don't you get dressed and we go home? We may catch
dinner with them if we hurry.”
Guntram
became silent and put his arms around his folded knees. “You can't
hide from your own children,
Maus,”
Konrad told him with a sweet voice.
“I'm not good enough for
them,” he whispered. “Look at me now!”
“I'm looking at you and I see
nothing wrong. Come home and remove the boys from my bed. They have
developed the truly annoying habit of smuggling themselves into my
bed,” Konrad told him. “Besides, it's too late for young Konrad
to drive back to the city.”
“I'm afraid,” Guntram
confessed.
“I would also be very afraid
if Klaus were about to jump on top of me. He has grown a lot,”
Konrad said with a soft smile. “Don't tell anyone this, but I had
to hire a kinesiologist for my back pain after carrying him. Years
are not being kind to me,” he whispered secretively and was glad
for the small smile that played in Guntram's lips.
“I don't know...”
“Come home, it's time for you
to be back.”
“I have to warn Goran.”
“Don't worry about that. He
has already evicted me from his flat. Too much people around for his
taste. He also needs his peace.”
“He's a great friend of mine,”
Guntram said dreamingly.
“Tomorrow he comes for the
service. I hope Pater Bruno is prepared to baptise Konrad because
Goran can't wait any longer. Maybe he does it by himself. I'm sure he
has already bought the candle”
“This is going to be
complicate. You both share the same name,” Guntram commented with a
smile, very amused at the description and feeling his spirits lifted
a bit more. “Konrad Jr. sounds awful.”
“Like a banker's name,”
Konrad chuckled. “How about we call him Kurt or Cord? Con sounds
very weak in German and in French, well, it's a vulgar word.”
“Yes, you are right. I wasn't
thinking straight when I chose it. Kurt sounds nice,” Guntram
agreed. “Wouldn't all this be too confusing for him? From Conor to
Konrad and now to Kurt.”
“I think not, his name is
Konrad but we call him Kurt at home. Most people have nicknames and
he's very intelligent.”
“Do you think they want me
home? I've changed a lot.” Guntram was assaulted by his fears once
more and doubted.
“You have not changed in the
inside. You're sick, but you'll get better. They missed you all this
time and only want you back. They're old enough as to understand that
all what happened wasn't by your choice.”
“I hope you're right,”
Guntram whispered as he sought comfort in his lover's arms.
* * *
With his stomach filled with
butterflies, Guntram descended from the limousine parked outside the
yard on a rainy night. Not caring about the thin raindrops he looked
around and took the familiar shape in as his memory was able to
finally reconstruct the many blank spaces it had been suffering in
the past years.
One of the bodyguards ran with an open umbrella toward him and he took two steps backward until his back hit with the wet car. 'Calm down! You're at home,' he chastised himself and looked toward Konrad, already covered by an umbrella held by Dieter.
One of the bodyguards ran with an open umbrella toward him and he took two steps backward until his back hit with the wet car. 'Calm down! You're at home,' he chastised himself and looked toward Konrad, already covered by an umbrella held by Dieter.
“Let's go inside,” he said
softly and feigning everything was normal. “We are going to catch a
cold in here.”
Guntram followed him and crossed
the archway to enter in the familiar courtyard, stopping to admire
the cherry tree's blossoms shining under the lights. 'Lord, I had no
idea how much I've missed that tree,' he thought as he contemplated
the delicate flowers, shinning under the combination of drops and
lights.
Konrad's hand on his back took
him out of his reverie and he cracked a nervous smile. “Come on,
Friederich is waiting for you,” he whispered and Guntram
automatically followed him to the open door. The bright light coming
out of the house warmed his heart and he walked the steps with great
agility.
Friederich was standing in the
middle of the foyer and he only opened his arms to receive Guntram
and clutch him against his chest murmuring “my boy, you're finally
home”.
Without knowing why, Guntram
began to cry over the old man's shoulder and Dieter quickly
disappeared toward the kitchen. Konrad walked closer but a single
gesture from Friederich made him stop in his tracks.
“It's all right, my child.
It's all over, you're safe home. We all prayed for your return and
the Lord answered our prayers,” the old man said affably.
Guntram tried to stop crying but
he simply couldn't do it and Friederich put his arms around him to
comfort him the best as he could, rubbing his back as if he were a
small child again. “Let it all go. It's over.”
Friederich watched how Konrad
was becoming more and more restless as Guntram couldn't stop his
cries and feared the young man would finally collapse. “Come with
me to the library,” the old man said with a kind but firm voice.
“You can sit and tell me everything you want, child.”
Nodding, without relinquishing
his hold of Friederich's jacket lapels, Guntram followed him through
the long corridor and sat on the leather couch, still holding his
friend, to finally bury his blond head in his chest and began to weep
again.
Friederich waited for the sobs
to quiet down before he spoke again, taking in a brief inspection of
the Guntram's condition. According to Jean Jacques, changing the hair
colour back to its original shade had been a huge shock for the young
man, but he had been slightly more talkative afterwards. 'He needs
his old routine and his children. Nothing else,' he thought as he
searched for his handkerchief in his pocket to offer.
“I'm sorry, Friederich,”
Guntram mumbled, taking the piece of cloth and drying his tears. “I
ruined your jacket.”
“Don't worry about this. The
only thing that matters now is that you are here. Recompose yourself
and we can go upstairs to see the children. Young Konrad is a
wonderful child and makes me want to come back to teaching,” he
said with a smile.
“I wish you would have been my
teacher,” Guntram said sadly.
“Yes, I also would have loved
to have you. The Duke drained all my energies and I would have loved
to have such a sweet tempered boy as you for a change.”
“I've heard that,” Konrad
mumbled miserably from his corner and Guntram laughed nervously.
“Armin and Albert behaved worse than I, but I always got the heat.”
“No, my Duke. They were more
mischievous than you but after one reprimand, they ceased to be
troublesome. You, on the other hand, only looked for another way of
getting what you wanted,” Friederich spoke with a smile as he held
Guntram's right hand, afraid to touch the left one.
“Slanders,” Konrad mumbled
again.
“The princes are in the
nursery. I think they already dined,” Friederich said, ignoring as
usual his former pupil's childish complaints. “Little Konrad has
quite an appetite. I ordered to place one of the old cribs in the
princes' bedroom. They are delighted to have him around.”
“Is it true?”
“Why not? This baby has a very
good temper and he has been following both older boys for the entire
day. The princes are very proud to have someone to look after, but I
think their tutor is very tired. Mr. Guttenberg Sachsen excused
himself ten minutes ago,” Friederich said with a playful smile.
“Come Guntram, wash your face and see the princes. It will be a
great surprise for them.”
Guntram only nodded and rose
from the sofa, mind absently rearranging his jacket and tie.
'I have to tell the cook to feed
him well,' the thought flashed through Friederich's mind as he gently
pulled Guntram from the hand to lead him to one of the bathrooms in
the first floor.
* * *
Birgitte had to suffocate a cry
of happiness when she saw Guntram walking across the corridor. Only
Friederich's stern gaze stopped her from jumping to his neck to kiss
him on the cheek, exactly as she would have done with any of her own
children.
“I'm very glad to see you,
sir,” she said curtly and moved aside to let him pass and bowed her
head when Guntram weakly smiled at her.
“Are the children asleep?”
Konrad asked.
“No, sir. They're in bed but
they're still talking with each other. They're very excited with the
young... prince,” she said hesitantly, not knowing how she should
call the baby. “He's very tired. Klaus Maria found very funny to
make him crawl after his remote control car and then Karl Maria
decided to use him as “son” when they were playing family. He
fell asleep while I was changing him into his pyjamas.”
“Thank you, Birgitte. Mr.
Elsässer will speak with you about your new duties,” Konrad said
very coldly and she bowed again her head before she followed the old
administrator.
Guntram smiled softly when they
were away. “You still keep the same loving way of treating the
staff.”
“Some things don't change with
me,” Konrad answered with a mischievous smile. “Ready?” he
asked placing his hand on the door's handle.
“No, not really.”
“Too bad,” Konrad mocked him
and opened the door to see his sons jump from the bed, curious to see
their father coming to visit them so late in the night. “I have a
surprise for you, but don't wake up Konrad,” he announced as he
entered in the room.
He moved away from the door to
reveal Guntram, partly hidden behind his back.
Klaus' cry of sheer happiness
resounded in the whole wing as he ran toward Guntram to crush him
with his arms, burying his face in his stomach as Karl gaped at the
young man, looking so much like Guntram but different in many ways.
As his brother buried himself against the stranger, he left the bed
and warily approached him, to close inspect him.
“Is that you, Guntram?” he
asked fearfully.
“It's me, Karl,” he
answered. “I've changed a lot, my dear.”
The young boy recognised his
voice and pushed his brother aside to bury himself in Guntram's chest
as he had knelt down to better kiss Klaus in the face. Guntram's hand
slowly caressed the blond's head as he kissed him. “I didn't want
to be for so long away,”
“Papa told us someone took you
away,” a tearful Klaus said, almost pushing his brother away to
recover his original place.
“That's true. I escaped him
some weeks ago. I was travelling with Konrad to come back here,”
Guntram said softly. “He's my son.”
“And your new brother,”
Konrad immediately clarified. “Be nice to him.”
“Can we keep him, papa?”
Klaus asked with his face brimming of hope.
“Yes, we keep him,” Konrad
answered with a smile. “But we are going to call him Kurt at home.
It's less confusing this way.”
“Then you can keep Guntram,
papa,” Klaus said with a smile, without releasing Guntram's neck.
“Are you going to stay here?”
“Yes, I'm staying with you,”
Guntram answered with a broken voice.
“Yes, you have just been
turned over to me,” Konrad joked. “This is how it starts,
Guntram. One day you wake up and the children have exchanged you for
a younger model.”
“Konrad is your son?” Karl
asked curiously. “How did you have him?”
“I...”
“It's very late and you must
go back to bed, before you wake up your little brother. Tomorrow you
can speak with Guntram, when he's not so tired. He was under
considerable stress all these years and needs to rest and have some
peace.”
“Where are you staying?”
Karl inquired, just to be on the safe side.
“Guntram sleeps with me. In my
room. So, no invasions tonight,” Konrad affirmed with a stern
voice. “You should also check that Kurt doesn't wake up in the
middle of the night and becomes afraid.”
“He sleeps like a log,”
Klaus said with an ample smile that his father believed to be lost.
“Birgitte almost couldn't change his Pampers. He ate his dinner
faster than us and slept over the table,” and giggled at the memory
of the etiquette gap.
“He took off his shoes and
threw them away.... And the socks too!!” Karl added chuckling
although sounding a little shocked.
“Babies do that,” Guntram
said in his son's defence. “You used to do the same almost all the
time. I had back pain from permanently picking shoes and socks up,”
he joked.
“He's my son,” Karl
announced proudly. “I'm not the youngest any longer.”
“He does not obey you,”
Klaus told him as a matter of fact. “He does not come when you call
him.”
“He's not a dog,” Karl
retorted. “He doesn't pay much attention to you either.”
Guntram looked at his two sons,
feeling a strange pang of sadness and longing when he heard the
familiar bickering over anything; a toy, a book, his attention or now
his own baby. “You should let him be papa at some point,” he
suggested.
“No!” was the unison answer.
“He can't speak or write,”
Karl stated.
“Exactly, he's a baby,”
Klaus supported the case, “but he can follow us. He's cool.”
“It would be very “cool”
of you to go back to bed,” Konrad intervened with sufficiency.
“Tomorrow you can spend the day with Guntram, but let him rest
tonight.”
Both boys whined but their
father's stern expression returned them to bed after Guntram kissed
them on the cheek. They watched how he looked at the sleeping baby
and delicately touched his face. Karl asked for a story, but Konrad
said no before Guntram would have given up.
“Was it that bad?” Konrad
asked an almost collapsing from nerves Guntram. “I can give you my
kinesiologist's phone number,” he added with a smile.
“Did you just say “cool”?”
Guntram asked with disbelief. 'Maybe I do need my pills no matter
what this new doctor thinks.'
“Yes,
I suffered an unwanted
and
unneeded
update
under your cousin Eberhard's hands,” Konrad sneered. “Can you
believe he told me I am an antediluvian relic?”
Guntram giggled but made an
effort to compose himself. “Where is he now?”
“Jumped ship as usual when
things become hard with the twins.”
“It seems you have developed
quite a friendship with him,” Guntram said acidly, feeling jealousy
bite his heart once more. “Constantin told me he was all the time
with you. I even saw photos.”
“Jealous as usual, Kitten?”
Konrad asked with a smirk and Guntram glared at him, much to his
relief. 'If he can start a fight, he's coming back.'
“Should I?”
“The truth is that he speaks
nonstop and that is certainly a turnoff for any man's libido. He's
the boyfriend of one of my lawyers. Goran arranged it when Ratko
threatened with resigning if he had to look after him in another gay
disco. Eberhard said I am dull and he practically lives with the
dullest man alive. I assume Lanusse switches his ears off when he
starts to chit chat.”
“Goran arranged it?” Guntram
asked puzzled, still unable to process the whole tirade against his
cousin.
“In
Christmas 2010. It was his idea. Maybe he's already planning with
which one of his relatives he's going to marry our Kurt to. I was
even kicked out of my position as Hochmeister
but he kept his own title. He does not obey me any longer,” Konrad
complained louder than before.
“I thought you had resigned,”
Guntram said with a quiet voice, hoping to calm him down.
“Partly,
but they didn't stop me, so they fired me. In my book, accepting a
resignation
is
firing someone, especially after all the years I dedicated to that
bunch of ungrateful brats.”
“I'm sorry, Konrad. I feel
this is all my responsibility.” Guntram put his arms around the
large man to comfort him. “Your life was that organization.” He
rose to his tiptoes to kiss him on the forehead.
“Not my life but an important
part of it,” Konrad said, secretly glad to be finally hugged and
comforted by someone. “You and the boys are my life,” he added
with a certain shyness.
Guntram only kissed him on the
lips a pressed the head against his chest, as he had done countless
times over the years, feeling how he relaxed in his embrace. “You'll
find a way to win. You always do,” he whispered and kissed him
again.
'If he can cosset me, then he's
only stressed, exactly as Goran said,' Konrad thought and returned
the kisses, increasing the passion, surprised that Guntram was almost
pushing him against the wall to kiss him more fervently.
Still trying to regain his
breath, Konrad said “wait, the doctor...”
“Can get a life,” Guntram
answered shortly before he attacked his mouth once more. “Let's go
to bed,” he pleaded.
“I was thinking to give you
dinner, getting you drunk with a good wine and then taking my
liberties with you,” Konrad said with a smile.
“The order of factors does not
alter the product, that's what you told me once,” Guntram replied
with a kiss before he walked to the stairs, only to be caught by
Konrad once more.
“If we miss dinner, you face
the chef and Friederich in the morning. The order of factors does
alter the product,” Konrad chuckled like a child. “I need some
wine before taking my liberties with you. I'm not so young as I used
to be.”
“Taking your liberties?
Konrad, you should spend more time with Eberhard.” Guntram laughed
at the old fashioned expression.
“Kitten, your cousin does not
work much and the Guttenberg Sachsen honesty is frankly overvalued.”
* * *
Trembling like an eager and
clumsy teenager, Konrad's hand opened the door that led to his
private quarters. He moved aside to let Guntram pass and the younger
man felt once more as the first time he had entered in the room. He
looked at the lit fireplace in the living room and smiled, noticing
that everything was as the last time he had been there; his painting
from Konrad and the boys, the small table where they used to have
breakfast, the armchairs where they used to sit for a late talk.
“Nothing has changed,” he
said softly.
“I'm a naturally born
conservative and you love me for that,” Konrad said smugly and
Guntram kissed him again with great tenderness.
Once he broke the kiss, he took
two steps backwards before he spoke. “I did it countless times with
Constantin but I never enjoyed the pleasure and excitement I enjoy
every time you look at me. I didn't hear you when you warned me
against Constantin and it's my fault all what happened.”
“I behaved like a jealous brat
and never listened to you. I pushed you to the limits of your
endurance and further. I should have never done it.”
“Konrad, you had every right
to be furious with me.”
“No, I really have none and my
anger hurt you more than I ever intended.”
“I was on the edge all the
time and almost mad with jealousy. I should have spoken with you much
earlier, before I flew to Russia. I really don't know what went
through my head that time.”
“Maus,
I should have never used you like I did. You were never part of this
game.”
“Will this work again? What if
we fail once more?”
“We won't fail, my love. We
are too old to start anew. Your Father Patricio visited me once and I
spoke with him very lengthy. He heard me and the only thing he told
me was “I'll give you the same advise I give to all the people I
marry. Don't go to bed with anger in your heart. Speak or shout with
each other but fix it before it turns into a snowball.”
“Can we speak at all?”
Guntram asked fearfully. “We always say we will but we never do.”
“We are doing it now, my love.
I cannot live without you. These years were pure hell for me and I
questioned many times how God could have been so mean to me. But now,
I see it was a test and my faith returns.”
Guntram only smiled sadly before
he planted a brief kiss in his cheek and turned around to enter in
their former bedroom.
He walked through the door and
pressed his right hand against the bedpost looking at the bed as he
remembered how many times they had loved each other. Shaking his head
to cast the ghosts away, he glanced around and noticed that nothing
had changed in the room. Everything was in its place, except for a
new photo of him and the boys standing at Konrad's bedside table.
His eyes were glued to his own
bedside table. There still stood the last book he had been reading
before moving to his flat. He took it in his hands and softly
caressed its cover, gulping nervously.
“Are you all right? We can
leave it for another time,” Konrad asked very softly and put his
arms around him.
“It's still here,” Guntram
whispered and Konrad looked at him without understanding his words.
“My book. You didn't put it away. As if you were waiting for me all
this time.”
“I was waiting for you or
maybe I didn't want to admit you were not going to come back. I don't
know, but I only wanted to have you back,” Konrad answered
tightening his embrace.
“There were times when I
couldn't remember your face, my love. The harder I tried it, the
image was more and more difficult to form in my mind. I could
remember many things we did together, things you told me, or some
details of your face like your eyes, but the whole picture was lost,”
Guntram admitted very slowly.
“You were subjected to an
incredible stressful situation. Nothing that you did or thought was
really by your choice. I only care that you're back with me,”
Konrad tried to comfort Guntram by taking his head between his hands
and fixing his eyes on his lover's. “We have three children and
that will be enough stress for the rest of our lives,” he added
with a smile when he guessed the tears threatening to water Guntram's
eyes.
“Come, let's get drunk and
shock the staff,” he suggested with a playful smile and led him by
the hand to the small desk where a bottle with two glasses stood.
Guntram immediately recognised the bottle.
“Wait Konrad,” he said
softly before the man could open the cork. “They're very valuable
to drink.”
“We drank one after the
ceremony in your honour, Guntram. Goran told me to keep this one for
your return.”
“This is then the last one you
have? I really don't want to drink alcohol. I did what I did because
I drank too much one night.”
“What if we reserve it till
Kurt's baptism? We should share the bottle with the godfather. He
certainly deserves the deference.”
“I would love that.” Guntram
kissed once more the man as he laced his arms drawing his body toward
his, going along with his need to feel cherished once more. “I love
you, Konrad,” he said shyly.
“You're my life, Kitten,”
Konrad mumbled before he attacked Guntram's lips, pushing him over
the bed and placing his body on top of him.
Guntram feverishly returned the
kiss and Konrad was a bit surprised when he felt his lover's lips
slightly bite him on the neck. Oblivious to the mark, Konrad's hands
tore the light blue tie and broke two or three buttons in his
desperation to reach the skin he missed so much. His mouth travelled
across the chest as he savoured each inch of the supple skin.
Guntram's hands uselessly tried
to remove Konrad's jacket but the man's arms were locked around his
back to keep him firmly held under him. “Love, please, don't be so
brutal,' he whispered but Konrad only slightly relaxed his hold and
returned his kisses to his face.
“Konrad, clothes,” he
reminded him once more, whispering the words in his ears.
“What?” he asked seeming to
be a bit lost and upset at the new interruption.
“They should be off,”
Guntram answered with a gentle smile, finding once more his sulky
look to be endearing.
“Right,” Konrad mumbled as
he quickly removed Guntram's clothes and once more attacked his body
with his kisses, forgetting about his own clothes and shoes.
Guntram had to laugh at the
man's eagerness. “We are not in the backseat of a car, my love,”
he chuckled. “We have all night.”
“You try to be without
anything for several years,” Konrad growled and cursed when his tie
almost strangled him as it had entangled itself with the pin.
Guntram only stared at him in
shock. “You were....? All these years?” he asked with a broken
voice, watching his lover's clumsy fight with the silk tie's knot and
his cufflinks.
“After you were gone, I just
couldn't do it,” Konrad confessed feeling very embarrassed. “I
missed you too much and I didn't feel the impulse any longer.”
“Come here,” Guntram said
with a soft voice. “You're going to rag this shirt,” His hands
easily unbuttoned the cufflinks and removed the shirt with a luminous
smile. He readjusted his position in the bed and knelt over it so he
could better reach the standing man and kiss him as his hands slowly
released him from his belt and trousers.
Feeling more in control of
himself, Konrad kissed Guntram more tenderly than before and laced
his arms over him as he finally climbed on top of the bed. Without
removing his lips from the young man's mouth, he moved the sheets
aside and gently pushed him against the mattress and covered them
both with the soft covers when he felt Guntram slightly shivering
because of an imaginary draft.
“I do love you,”Guntram
repeated as he clutched his lover's neck.
“I always knew that, Kitten. I
never doubted your love for me. We argued many times before but you
never tried to hurt me. That's true love.”
“In Argentina...”
“It wasn't you. I pressed you
and some people forced your hand. Let's forget it. For real.”
Konrad kissed him once more and Guntram felt once more dissolve into
the kiss, losing all coherence or his self into the embrace.
He slid down in the bed to allow
Konrad to place his body on top of his, enjoying the electrical
sparkle running trough his spine when their erections collided with
each other. He felt almost reaching his climax even they had done
nothing. “Take me, please,” he muttered with a shaky voice and
Konrad looked at him with his eyes strangely brimming with tears.
“You
haven't changed a bit, Maus,”
he said with a broken voice. “This is the same thing you told me in
Venice and stole my heart.”
Without waiting for an answer of
giving Guntram time to start to cry as he had felt his desire to do
so, Konrad's fingers began to stretch him with great care and love.
'I can still drive him mad like
I used to do,' Konrad thought proudly when he provoked the first moan
and Guntram's lips clung to his own ones with more passion and lust
than ever before.
Guntram felt once more lost in
the loving pleasure he was receiving. There was nothing that could be
compared to it. His heart beat in unison with his lover's and he knew
beforehand Konrad's reactions too, the familiarity of their movements
comforting him more than any other words or gestures Konrad could
make. 'We were meant to be together no matter what,' thought the
youth as he clung to his partner. 'No one should ever come between
us.'
Guntram's neck arched in
pleasure when Konrad penetrated him slowly, waiting for him to match
his slow moves. The man let his spirit dissolve in the joy washing
him over at the realisation that he had finally recovered his soul.
'Without him, I am nothing,' he thought briefly as the urgent kisses
forced him to increase the speed of his pounding.
Konrad wanted to linger for some
time, to preserve what they were sharing but Guntram almost coerced
him to reach his climax in his need to surrender to his lover once
more and feel his unbounded love for him. The enthusiasm from his
Kitten was an intoxicating liquor for him and he climaxed, getting
lost in their shared pleasure.
Both men laid spent in the
aftermath of their lovemaking, embracing each other, surrounded by an
unreal golden glow dancing in front of their half closed lids.
“No man ever made me feel the
way you do, Konrad,” Guntram said, still panting from the effort
but feeling a sense of completeness roam his heart, as if they were
two halves that were finally fitting together.
“No person will ever make feel
what I feel for do, Kitten. This is till our last breath,” Konrad's
voice intoned with a grave seriousness as he caressed his lover's
face.
“Do you really think this will
work? I'm afraid,” Guntram muttered as he hid his face in the broad
chest, too moved to say anything else.
“This has to work or our
children will kick our asses, and rather strongly I must say,”
Konrad affirmed with a huge grin. “They have a clear formed opinion
of what we should do with our lives, my love. Klaus does not
negotiate his terms; Klaus listens to what you have to say and then,
imposes his own terms, and little Kurt fortunately can't speak so
far, but I'm convinced he's as strong-headed as you are,” Konrad
finished his sentence with a slightly whiny voice, hugging Guntram
stronger than before, enjoying how the young man naturally relaxed
his body against his.
“I don't want to be trapped in
a bank with these three in twenty years,” he added unsuccessfully
trying to hide his chuckles and Guntram couldn't help to laugh his
heart.
* * *
“What did I tell you?”
Konrad hissed when his two sons jumped on top of him and brutally
pushed him aside to take his place next to a soundly asleep Guntram.
“Be quiet! He needs to rest!” he admonished the boys, but they
ignored him, already settling themselves under the covers.
“It's two in the morning,”
Konrad protested once more, but Klaus was already snuggling against
Guntram. “I don't want to sleep with you two tonight! Go back to
your beds!”
“We are not sleeping with you,
papa,” Karl's determined voice sounded in the dark room. “We are
sleeping with Guntram.”
“That's right. We sleep with
him and not with you. You can sleep with the baby if you want,”
Klaus supported his brother's opinion and Konrad was speechless.
He could only watch powerless
the shadows of his children as they wriggled till they settled
themselves into a comfortable position in his own bed.
'Tomorrow Guntram will tell them
off. He never let them smuggle themselves into his own bed. You will
be in so much trouble tomorrow morning, young men,' Konrad thought
with perverse satisfaction as he unsuccessfully tried to find a
comfortable position to sleep in the bed's little available space
left. Waters had returned to its channel.
