TS 3 Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Guntram's de Lisle diary. 

July 1^st, 2014

To say that when it rains, it pours, is bullshit. I mean, nothing can describe what our family is going through. We are covered in shit and we are not even halfway through the storm. We lost our father. Friederich was our father and we lost him. And then, we nearly lost Konrad. I feel guilty because I can't mourn Friederich as I should but I'm sick worried about my love. 

In the early morning, Dr. Wagemann phoned me and told me that Konrad's constants were fine considering the situation and that he had passed the night well. He told me to pass by the clinic at six p.m., when things would be calmer. His results were good but Dr. van Horn would explain me more later. 

I went home and tried to work but I focused all my energy in speaking with the lawyers and accountants to start settling the transfers. At five, I drove back to the hospital and the gate was again crowded with journalists of the tabloid kind. Some days, I wish that the rotweillers wouldn't only be released at night. 

I spoke long with Dr. van Horn and the surgeon who performed the surgery on Konrad, Dr. Linzer. Both are optimistic and tell me that everything will be fine though Konrad will have to understand that his life is going to change; I got the talk for the relatives of a heart patient. Sometimes, it isn't that great to be on the other side of the street. According to the tests results, Konrad suffered a transmural infarction meaning the re-vascularization of the zone (if at all) will take a long time. Many pills per day, diet and no stress at all; he can kiss goodbye his crazy lifestyle and consider retirement at 56 if he wants to see his 70s. 

Finally, at 6:30, I was allowed in the ICU area for fifteen minutes. I thought he was asleep but he opened his eyes the moment I came closer to the bed set on the farthest corner of the room. I had forgotten how blue his eyes were and how much I loved when they looked at me, going right to my soul. 

“Hi,” I said shyly as I sat in the chair one of the nurses left on the side that was free of medical things. He smiled at me and I saw how tired he was. 

“You're here,” he whispered and I kissed him on the temple. 

“Of course I am. I did miss you, but the doctor tells me I can only stay for a while. You must rest. I'll be back tomorrow.” 

“I'm not tired.” 

“No, you just argued with the doctor and told him he was an incompetent who couldn't distinguish a heart attack from a heart burn.” 

“You too? All doctors are unionists.” 

“Shhh. Don't argue and don't waste your energy,” I said and kissed him again. 

“Is that a tie under those scrubs?” he frowned and I realized I still had the “office” costume on. 

“Work.” I said laconically as I pulled the chair nearer to him and sat there. His hand was very cold but I didn't care and put it against my chest. “You will be staying here until everything is solved.” I said and my lips touched his hand again. “I love you.” 

“I also.” 

We said nothing else as we stayed there, just looking at each other. We didn't need to do anything else. We were happy to be together again and at that moment, I knew that I would do anything to have him back home. I think that was the moment, I sent all morals and conventions to hell. We weren't going to be defeated or cornered without a good fight. 

As Fefo used to tell me when I was a “young dwarf”; “if you're going to get roasted, get them burned with their matches.” I got many blows, but the others took their share too. Finally, bullies left me alone because I knew how to fight dirty. 

Since this nightmare started, we had been passive and hiding in the corners, hoping to be spared if we behave. 

Really? Nobody will lift a finger for us. Hitting us is easy and cheap because we don't retaliate. The matches were never lightened. 

Not any more. This time, I'll torch everything down.  

*  * *

July 3^rd 2014

At least good news. Michel confirmed me that 1.7 billion Swiss Francs are already deposited in the court's accounts. Even that despicable rat of Heiko phoned me to tell it so. For a month, he didn't remember he had filled his belly in our house several times, and after our argument, he turns up to be the nicest fellow in the world. That has a name but I won't write it down. 

I was allowed two times more in the intensive care station and I met with Anke, the nurse who took care of me when I had my first heart attack. She's the boss of the nurses in the cardiology wing now and told me, she would be Konrad's main nurse. 

I didn't have the courage to tell him the news. He was comparing her with Cleopatra and Katherine the Great for some unknown reason, but I know she won't let him get away with anything. He'll have to behave and eat the pudding and sprouts without a single complaint. 

I also didn't tell Konrad about Friederich. Tomorrow is the funeral and we agreed with Wagemann that becoming upset over it could be detrimental for his health. I only spoke about the boys' doings and told him how much they miss him and left some their drawings. For me it's horrible to lie to him, but it's for the best. Now I'm truly walking in his shoes and I realize that I shouldn't have been such a jerk when I was losing my temper because of his “selective hearing” or his “special outlook on things”. He was only trying to protect me just like I'm doing it now. 

Konrad asked me about Friederich and I said that only I had permission to visit him for fifteen minutes and those were the hospital's rules. He swallowed it. Also, the nurses and doctors threw out the prison guard who dared to stuck his nose there; I bet that was Anke. She's impressive. 

Today, Friederich's sister, Lotte arrived with her son. I asked them to stay with us. All of his belongings were already packed if she wanted to take them, but she said no. That it was Konrad's call to decide what to do with them. She took the breviary on Friederich's bedside table and gave it to me. 

“My brother saw you as the child he never had,” she told me and I broke down in tears when I was supposed to be comforting her. She hugged me tightly and asked to meet my son because Friederich had told so many wonderful things about him. 

His absence in this house is overwhelming. You would have never guessed he was there, but he knew all what was going on around here. I have a thousand questions per day to ask him, but I can't do it now. The quiet people speak more than the loud ones. 

Nothing will ever be the same since he's gone. I fear the day Konrad comes home and finds it out. I have to find a way to break the news to him. 

I even found Jean Jacques freely crying in the kitchen at three in the morning. He was alone and I couldn't sleep. Jean Jacques and Friederich were arguing every day but I think it was more like a sport for them. It was Friederich the one who brought Kurt to the kitchen the day the blue lobster arrived. When Jean Jacques told it to me, I couldn't help to smile. That was so Friederich's. He had opposed to pay that crazy amount for the thing but Jean Jacques had thrown a tantrum and he had got it; I learned that Konrad had given our chef carte blanche with his shopping list as part of the “return pact” and Friederich was grinding his teeth each time Jean Jacques bought a white truffle or something like that. 

“Who's going to veto me now?” Jean Jacques told me and I hugged him as strongly as I could because I didn't know what to say or if there was anything to say to that. 

I truly miss him.  

* ** 

July 4^th, 2014 

Today was Friederich's funeral. Last night his body was brought to the house and placed in the chapel so we could say goodbye to him in private. The boys cried a lot and I let them leave some letters for him inside the casket. His family was there and I left them alone so they could have some privacy. 

I was so nervous that I couldn't bring myself to choose the flowers for the ceremony. Monika did it for me with her Aunt, the princess zu Löwenstein. 

In the morning, some more people came and the mass was at eleven. Christoph introduced me to several of his cousins -All Habsburg-Kassel- and they did look like Friederich. Armin, Jean Jacques and I along with Christoph, and Friederich's two nephews carried his coffin to his last resting place, next to Karl Heinz von Lintorff. I spent the whole ceremony holding my boys and the tears at bay. Pater Bruno spoke for a long time and one could see he was saying goodbye to one of his closest friends. 

With the exception of Armin and his wife, none of the Lintorffs were there. Ferdinand's sons were here too but Cecilia was nowhere to be seen. All the Serbs were there, even Mirko who kept distance from me. 

The old princess zu Löwenstein came and she told me that her husband admired Friederich very much. “He was the centre of everything,” she said and she was right. 

For a moment, I was glad that Konrad wasn't there. The sorrow clogging the air was oppressive. I could hear my boys cry when we put down the coffin. It was hard for me to stand there, next to Pater Bruno as the people passed in front of the grave for the last time. 

I was surprised to see my father there, but he whispered in my ear “I have an honor debt with this man. He looked after you all these years.” He nearly made me break down in tears. Michel took the boys to his house (along with Birgitte) and I'm glad he did. The buffet lunch served afterwards was horrible not because of the food but because of the ambiance. 

I spoke with many people but I don't remember well what they told me. The staff did their best but they were too sad to do things right but somehow they managed to survive the lunch. 

After the coffee was served, I realized how late it was and that if I stayed, I would lose my visit rights for the day. I excused myself and went to the hospital without changing my clothes. I cursed the moment one of the nurses gave me the mandatory scrubs and saw I was wearing a black suit. 

“I thought I was getting better,” was the first thing Konrad told me when he saw me. Fuck! I was wearing something like one of the XXL aprons Kurt has to wear each time he gets near the paints! He couldn't have seen my black tie or suit. 

“I was having lunch with Finkelstein and you know how pompous he is.” I lied quite close to the truth because he did come to the funeral dressed in black and looking gloomy. “One of these days he's going to show up dressed in a morning coat.” 

“Pompous beetle,” Konrad grimaced. “What did he want?” 

“Nothing. Money but I said no.” 

“You did well,” he said and asked about the children. I spoke a lot about the monster dog we have and how it misses him and lives under our bed. The beast decided that Konrad is his master and there's no way to convince him otherwise. He smiled feebly and asked if the boys still liked it and if the Bishop wanted it back. 

“The boys love him very much and no, nobody wants him back. I guess they're happy we keep him. His eating habits would kill any vow of poverty any convent might have. And he's not doing much about patrolling. In fact, he sleeps all night and snores, under my bed.” 

Konrad laughed a bit and apologized for the inconvenience but he liked the dog very much and it would be good to keep him. He told me that he always wanted a big dog when he was a child but Friederich refused to have one because it might destroy something and then, he didn't dare to ask when he was old. But if the children liked him, then the dog could stay. 

I felt a knot in my throat but I said that the dog had destroyed nothing so far (with the exception of two pairs of his shoes). “I can live with that,” he told me. We spoke for some time more as I held his hand, until Anke, the nurse tapped my shoulder. 

“I'm sorry, but it's been over an hour.” 

I apologized and left in haste. I thanked her for the extra-time and she smiled. “Always a pleasure to send a cop to hell.” I swear she winked at me. 

I phoned my father and asked him if he could keep the boys for the night. I would send someone tomorrow to pick them up. He said yes and I could hear Fairuza's voice in the distance, battling with the twins to get them inside the shower. 

I went home and I didn't enter in the house. I went to the chapel and it was empty and dark. I watched Friederich's tombstone on the floor and smiled. 

“Don't be upset if we wrote all your names in the cards, my good friend. Your family was visiting. Don't come back haunting us for that.”

“The prince would have never done that,” I heard a voice behind me and I jumped. It was Christoph. 

“You startled me.” I said and felt embarrassed he had caught me speaking with Friederich. “What are you doing here?” 

“Checking the damages, but everything is fine,” he told me. “Come, there's something I want to show you.” 

It was almost a sacrilege when he switched on the bright lights used on the part he's restoring. It hurt my eyes and he quickly put them down. “Look here,” he pointed at one of the corners of the mural. 

There was the face of a middle age woman painted, standing in front of something that looked like a lectern but that part was quite damaged and the beginning of a woman's head covered with a veil. 

“I think it's St. Anna teaching the Virgin and from the XIV century. I've been investigating and the castle dates to this time. I still need to do more research, but this could be greater than what was doodled in the nineteenth century.” 

“Doodled?” I asked. 

“Only a German with too many beers could have painted that NeoRomanesque St. Anne. I'm glad it was so cheaply made that removing it won't be too much of a hassle.” He told me and I was shocked because Christoph never talks like that. All right, our St. Anne looks too pious for my taste but normally I keep my eyes on Riemenschneider's Virgin on the altar. 

“It's wonderful.” I said. 

“Should I change plans and call some people over?” he asked me and I took a deep breath in. 

“No, wait for the duke to return. This might require more resources. Try to find out as much as you can about the castle. I know the Duke's father bought it from a distant relative from his wife, but I'm not sure. The Lintorffs were originally from Mecklenburg and then, made their money in Italy. One of these days, you should come to St. Capistrano.” 

“I'll work for free for a visit there. Speaking of which, there was a man, Enrico.... I'm sorry, I forgot the name. He left me a parcel for you and if it hasn't exploded, it can't be a bomb. It's in my office.”  

“When was that?” 

“Two or three days ago but you had so many on your desk that I thought it was a bad idea to disturb you. I'm sorry, my mistake. He didn't say it was urgent.” 

Inside the box was the copy of the cup I had asked Enrico. I felt very bad to go back to the chapel and take the original one out of the sanctuary and replace it in the middle of the night, like a thief. I think the nerves made me feel a bit jittery when I touched because I swear it was like when you put your fingers inside a plug. I put it in the box provided by Enrico and took it to my room. 

“You're going to a better place,” I said to it and felt like a dunce. “There are people who want to see you.” 

Tomorrow I'll ask Christoph to take it to Enrico's. I don't want the Serbs sniffing around me and he's the perfect messenger for this. The men don't even see him when he's around. It's not safe here and I don't know why but I feel it. The cup should be away.