Thursday 8 August 2013

Of Greased Pigs and Schoolboys



Of Greased Pigs and Schoolboys




October 19th, 1999
Buenos Aires

Sir?”
Yes, de Lisle?” the teacher, without rising his eyes from the paper he was grading, answered with all the ironic contempt his voice could muster.
“Excuse me, sir, but there is a hog in the window,” Guntram said very shyly as he looked at the rosy, small pig walking back and forth on the long Victorian window parapet.
“How many times do I have to repeat that ‘in’ means that the poor animal is embedded into said window? The proper formulation for that sentence is... Any idea, de Lisle?” the teacher corrected him as the whole class did their best to hold their snickers in check.
“I mean, there is a pig at the window, sir,” the just turned seventeen-year-old blond youth replied in a shaky voice.
“That's much better, boy,” the old man said and returned to his papers, not paying any more attention to his student.
“Excuse me, sir, but it might fall from the window,” Guntram insisted shyly but desperately, looking how carelessly the hog paced along the narrow parapet, softly grunting as if searching for invisible truffles.
“From any other of your fellows, I would have expected such a childish prank, but from you, de Lisle? This is most annoying. Can you please explain me where is the fun in your little charade? Do I have to interrupt my own work and look at the window for your schoolmates' entertainment?” the old teacher answered with studied procrastination, stubbornly keeping his short-sighted eyes fixed on his papers.
“No, sir. May I take it out to the garden?” Guntram asked once more, and the teacher slammed his fist against the desk, furiously rising from his seat to face...
A small pig pacing back and forth on the window's parapet.
Fast as a comet, the animal jumped from the parapet and dashed for the classroom’s mysteriously open door as one of the teenagers used his pen as a blowgun, accurately hitting its hindquarters.
The squawking creature ran out down the corridor like a possessed soul, and the whole classroom, without waiting for their teacher's permission, went in its pursue, yelling their excitement to hunt such a dangerous beast.



All of the boys, with the exception of Guntram who looked at Mr. Steward with a mix of guilt and embarrassment in his eyes, disappeared from sight, their war cries alerting the students in the other classrooms as they heard a clamour of doors violently being jerked open.
“Feel free to join the pack whenever you want, Mr. de Lisle,” the old teacher mumbled in defeat as he regained his seat.
Without waiting to be told twice, Guntram stood up from his desk and briefly bowed his head at the gloomy old teacher before leaving the room in haste. Nervous, because he was well aware that he was committing a serious offence, like leaving the classroom during lessons, he forgot his coat hanging from the wall's rack.
He was a bit surprised to see that all the classrooms had been vacated in such a short time. Somehow, the corridor's aspect reminded him of an apocalyptic film: papers and pencils scattered all over the pristine wooden floors, some of the serious portraits hanging on the walls set at an angle. The eerie silence was unsettling as he was used to the permanent murmur permeating the corridors, regardless of the strict sanctions imposed on the students for “mindless chatting”.
He crossed at a fast pace the dark corridors of the pseudo Victorian Gothic castle, built in 1879—as he had read so many times in the plaque crowning the main entrance—, and designed as a boarding school for no more than a hundred students from the wealthiest provincial families and another four hundred more enrolled as part-time students who returned to their homes every night.
No demographic change could ever convince St. Peter's authorities to enlarge or modify the magical number of a maximum of twenty students per class, as the three British founding teachers had decided that was the perfect equation. The school still managed to survive based on its past glory, long waiting lists and high monthly fees that assured the parents they were giving their children the best possible education.
The muffled cries coming from the inner yard's direction told Guntram that the pig might be running in circles along the galleries. He pushed open the heavy wooden door that lead to the inner yard, copied from the Jerónimos Monastery in Belém, Portugal, to witness a Dantesque scene.
Two-thirds of the school were cheering for a very fast and elusive hog running up and down the narrow paths that led to the central fountain, while the remaining third, along with the majority of the younger teachers, ran after the animal.
Much to the crowd's disappointment, Mr. Carruthers, the gymnastics teacher, was able to finally corner the frightened animal against some bushes, but when he bent his body to catch it, the animal simply slid through his fingers and ran through the maze of teachers and students with surprising agility.
“It's covered in Vaseline!” one of the youngest boys shouted while other added, “A greased pig!”, provoking a thunderous laughter in the yard.
An anonymous hand opened the library's door, and the pig escaped to the security a dark cave could provide. The Second Class students nearly ran over Guntram in their haste to get out of the building to open the library's opposite entrance so the animal could escape to the lawn and thus increase its chances of escape. Twenty acres of gardens, trails, courts, riding arena and swimming pool facing the Río de la Plata could provide numerous shelters for a pig on the run.
Guntram watched in rapt the pandemonium unleashed by the small pig as it ran as fast as it could over the large lawn in front of the school while pursued by some forty students, breaking the sacred rule of “Keep off the grass”. He was startled when he felt someone pull from his jacket.
“This isn't Oxford any longer, right, Coco?” Guntram chuckled again as he saw the impressive Mr. Elltington running after the hog as fast as his round belly allowed him.
“Or Eton,” his friend, built like a rugby player, laughed. “We are so dead after this one.”
“Happy birthday, Guntram,” Mariano Bronstein told him, and he added with a sad smile, “We had something for you, but our esteemed Coco, here, ate it.”
“I had no idea that the fudge was for him! I thought it belonged to Brown!” Coco defended himself. “Sorry, man,” he said with a contrite face.
“Don't worry. Thank you, guys,” Guntram answered.
“Here, take this,” Coco said, and took a living toad out from his jacket's pocket.
Guntram looked in surprise at the brownish-green amphibian placed on his hand, and quickly covered it with the other before one of the many preceptors would catch them with it. All the middle-aged “jailers”, as the wardens were called by the boarders, were out looking for blood as their peaceful mid-morning coffee break had been cancelled to hunt for an elusive hog.
“Where did you get it?” the blond asked in surprise, taking a glimpse through his closed fingers at the animal.
“From the lab,” Mariano answered. “We used the commotion to break in and save this poor fellow from being dissected later this week. You can use him as model, and then take him back to the river once you're done.”
“Should Fuentes not use a video for that?” Guntram asked as he frowned in sympathy, thinking on the poor animal's fate.
“He's a sadist,” Coco said asserted firmly. “Every Friday night he gets the leather costume out. A real dominatrix. With whip and all.”
“Coco, a dominatrix is a woman,” Mariano explained him with infinite patience. “Learn the difference or you'll get a nasty surprise.”
“Fuck you!” Coco shouted.
“No, you!”
Guntram sighed as his friends continued to call each other names and he interrupted the discussion with a, “I don't think any of us will get permission to go close to the river in a very long time, Mariano. Besides, it's too cold, and I have no coat with me here.”
“You just walk over there; no one will ever ask you a thing,” Coco said with sufficiency. “Some of us are born with a corsair patent, and people like you come with a sainthood certificate attached.”
“Here, take my coat,” Mariano added as he removed it from his body.
Guntram laughed and carefully slid the animal inside his jacket, not willing to stain Mariano's blue coat. “OK. I think nobody will miss me if I disappear now.”
“While you're at it, ask for a wish to the toad,” Coco joked. “What?” he blurted out when he saw Mariano slowly shaking his head in a disapproving way.
“Those are the fairy godmothers, Coco. Didn't you even get that at kindergarten?”
“Not toads?” he asked in genuine surprise.
“Nope. You kiss a frog and you get a prince,” Mariano explained him.
“I don't want a prince! I'm not gay!” Coco refuted with deep disgust.
“No, idiot, not you. The story goes that if you are a princess and you kiss a frog, it turns into a prince.”
“This is a toad! Not a frog!” Coco protested incensed. “This is ridiculous. What if I'm a short-sighted princess and kiss a she-frog? Do I become a dyke?”
“See you later, guys,” Guntram said as he realised that this was going to be another discussion on the sex of angels, more tiring than trying to teach some trigonometry to Coco.

* * *

As Guntram walked towards the beach strewn with tall and prickly rushes, only used when the middle-years boys had their sailing lessons or during the long summer weekends, he couldn't help the feel that he was being followed.
As he crouched on the sand, he heard a cracking noise among the plants, and he turned around fast and launched his body to catch a small bundle hiding among the rushes.
“Pepe! What are you doing here?” he said when he recognised one of the youngest boys that attended the nearby soup kitchen. It was supported by the school and was established to help the people of the new illegal settlement formed two years ago at the dump site. Guntram went there to help after classes when he had little homework.
“Ah, it's you Guti,” a boy his age said sounding a bit disappointed as he appeared from behind a dense clump of reeds. “Didn't recognise you with that coat.”
“What are you doing here? The Headmaster could call the police if someone finds you here.”
“Hunting,” a third boy, emerging from the reeds, explained him nonchalantly.
“Do you already know about the pig?” Guntram asked shocked.
“What pig?”
“There's one loose at the school. Somebody brought it in. Everybody is running after it.”
“We were looking for other kind of pigs. Your preppy friends. They come here and have a lot of money in their pockets,” the oldest boy, Pulga, said with a shrug. “You're OK, no problems with you.”
“We gonna crush them for ortibas1, caretas 2y panchos3,” another boy said, his voice laced with real hatred.
“Father Patricio will kill you if he finds out,” Guntram said seriously. “This is private property, and being here is like breaking into a house. You could get into a lot of trouble if someone from the school rats you out.”
“They're all the same piece of shit. Who's gonna speak? The one we caught with a joint?” the boy smirked, and Guntram huffed not truly upset.
“What do you have there?” the smallest boy asked when he saw Guntram's pocket moving.
“A toad. Have to return it to the water.”
“Will die here. Not deep enough. Take it to the marsh near where we live,” Pulga said with a shrug.
“I can't do that. I can't leave the school premises.”
“The… what?”
“I can't leave the school. If I do, the Headmaster will kick me out.”
“That sucks. Like juvie, right, Pulga?” the middle one asked to the oldest boy, who assented silently and turned around to go away.
“Wait, Pepe,” Guntram said searching his other pocket. “I have some cookies left from breakfast.” He pulled out a mini-pack of biscuits and gave it to the boys who devoured them in no time.
“If you’ve guts, follow us and we'll show you where's the pond,” Pulga said and Guntram nodded, partly heartbroken because he had realised that the boys probably had had nothing for breakfast that morning if they were ‘hunting’.
Think you can tell your friends to send the pig over here?” the boy who seemed to be ten years old asked.

* * *

Guntram followed the group of five boys, noticing that their clothes were very ragged and certainly not appropriate for the cold wind bursts whistling from the river. They reached the barbed wire fence and one of them moved aside a loose wooden pole. Guntram crossed to the other side, taking care not to ruin Mariano's coat with the wires.
Pepe, who was perhaps eight years old—it was difficult to tell as years of malnutrition made them look younger (smaller) than what they were—was happily telling Guntram about a newly formed cumbia music group he had discovered. “They're called the Pibes Chorros,4 like us,” he announced proudly, and Guntram had troubles to smile back at him. “They rock. Do you know two of them were already in prison for armed robbery?”
They reached a small, dirty, natural pond, and Guntram got the toad out of his jacket. The boys surrounded him and the smallest went to their tiptoes to better watch the amphibian calmly sitting in Guntram's hand. While all the boys were looking at the animal, an old man ran to them and stopped once he reached their side, raggedly breathing.
Ratis5 are looking for you, Pulga. Get lost,” he said once he had caught his breath.
“Why?”
“You shoot down that guy in Punta Chica,” the man said seriously. “Here, take this, and good luck.” He pulled a .32 out of his trousers and brutally placed it on the lanky boy's right hand, dropping some ammunition on the left.
Pulga only nodded and stashed the weapon inside his own trousers as he poured the bullets into his pockets. “Will this one not speak?” the man asked dangerously when he saw Guntram standing among the young members of his gang.
“At least I'm not giving my people the wrong bullets,” Guntram answered darkly. “Those are .22 and that's a .32. Hardly the same. The weapon will not work at all, Pulga.”
“What?” The youth opened his hand and examined the four bullets lying in his palm. “Motherfucker! You snitch!” he roared pushing the man with all his force as the other boys jumped on top of their boss like hungry piranhas, beating and kicking him with all of their strength.
Guntram tried to separate the two smallest boys from the bundle of kicks and punches, but they had more strength than he had ever credited them for, so he had to settle for shouting, “Cops are coming!”, making all the boys run away in disarray.
The man looked badly hurt, but Guntram, instead of going away, extended his hand to help him to stand up. Still shaking and spitting blood, the man stood up on shaky legs and looked at his saviour.
“Are you not the one from the parish?” he growled, recognising him.
“Yeah, that's me.”
“Should have said it,” the man smirked. “I don't want troubles with you. Your old man is with the Peronist Party and a criminal judge. Our middle-man would kill me if he cuts our welfare checks. We are all dead if something happens to you. Swear you'll say nothing, kid.”
“Who's going to ask me?” Guntram smirked. “I'm the bloody Mother Theresa. Beat it before I tell my old man.”
He watched how the man left the place before he took out the almost dried toad from his pocket. Knowing that he was alone, he left it next to the water and the animal madly jumped in.
“Hey, you forgot to grant me my wish!” he protested, but the toad was well away. “I could have asked for a family and a lot of money to give to people like Pepe. He really deserves something better than drugs, thieves, asphalt pirates and misery. Or motherfuckers who use small children to do their shit because they don't want to go to jail. I wish all those bastards would drop dead.”

* * *

Walking slowly, Guntram returned to the school. After checking his old Casio watch, he realised he had missed lunch, if any had been served at all. He had enough time as to smuggle himself into Art class as the young teacher would be, as always, dreaming of creating a masterpiece while his classmates loafed as much as they wanted, pretending they were “looking for inspiration”.
As predicted, the teacher only said, “Ah, you're back, de Lisle. Sit down and do something, if you can,” under the barely contained snickers of his fellows.
Guntram sat at his usual place. With morose moves, he got his drawing pad out and loudly passed the pages, making the teacher throw a venomous look at him. With calculated clumsiness, he let his tin pencil box fall to the floor, noisily clanking as the pencils scattered all over the classroom.
“I'm sorry, Miss Peña,” he said with mock contrition, and bent his body to start to gather his pencils. Slowly.
As she was huffing like a ragged bull, Guntram heard another metal box hit the floor, and through the metal table legs saw Fedérico mimicking his own small ‘guerrilla tactics’ against the teacher.
“Martiarena!” she shouted enraged. “Out!” She vented all her frustration on the well-known offender.
“Yes, Miss Peña,” Fedérico said in his best ‘sweet lamb’ voice, but the scorn in his eyes was very visible to the teacher. “Do I go to detention or to the Headmaster's?”
“Out!” she roared hysterically. “You too, de Lisle!”
“Yes, madam,” Guntram answered from under his classmate Laucha's desk, looking on his fours for his pencils while getting several discreet kicks in the ribs from his fellow. Without saying another word, he yanked Laucha's ankle very violently and threw him out of his chair, much to the class entertainment.
“You too!” she shouted to Laucha, laughing like an idiot from the floor.
Once the three boys were out, Guntram mumbled, “My, what a day we are having.”
“She's going to be fired. The Headmaster told her this morning,” Fedérico smirked. “She's an idiot if she can't control even you, pumpkin.”
“Most obliged, Fefo.”
“That's what the Headmaster said at the Board's meeting. My mother was there,” Laucha informed them. “But I still have to finish those twenty drawings she wants,” he added darkly. “Same price, Guti?”
“Depends. Caran d'Ache?”
Stäedler, and a box of twelve pencils.”
“No way. Twenty-four and two white number five pads.”
“That's robbing me!”
“In advance.”
“Guntram! We are pals!” Laucha protested.
“That's the pals' price. Otherwise, I would charge you four pads and a box of thirty-six pencils. I'm saving you from failing this class, Laucha. You can pass to the final year with only two pending subjects, and you have, at the moment, five to go.”
“Fine!” the boy growled and turned around to disappear in the garden to smoke a cigarette. He was well aware that the teacher would not check if he had gone or not to the Headmaster's office.
“What do we do now?” Guntram asked his friend who only shrugged. “Headmaster or detention?”
“Where were you today? You missed all the fun,” Fedérico asked instead.
“No, I saw part of it. It was just incredible, Fefo!”
“Did you like it?”
“Sure! That pig was certainly funny. Do you know where it is?”
“I think the gardeners were trying to catch it. No chance,” Fefo laughed with a contagious smile. “Let's play the ant. Teachers are too busy thinking on how to punish us to realise anything.”
“You think they won’t notice that you are not in the classroom? The silence will give you away, Fefo,” Guntram laughed back but followed his friend to the garden.
“What were you doing at lunchtime?” Fedérico asked again.
“Just saving a toad's life,” Guntram shrugged. “Fuentes wanted to cook the poor guy.”
“He's a sadist, no doubt about it,” Fedérico mumbled.
“If the piggy is gone, let's go to the library. We can study for tomorrow’s maths test. You certainly need to,” Guntram said, and Fedérico whined. “What? You're also toasted like Laucha, and I want to graduate with you.”
“As you say, Father Guntram,” Fedérico smirked, secretly glad that his friend cared for him no matter what.

* * *

At three thirty in the afternoon, the Senior classes—the Fourth and Fifth yearswere summoned to the multi-purpose room.
The forty boys looked at each other in surprise as normally such an offence would deserve a general scolding at the school-yard since there were no apparent culprits and all the school, down to the kindergarten babies, had participated in the action.
The old Headmaster, Mr. Stoyle, entered the room with long strides, followed by other four teachers, but he was not the one who provoked the involuntary collective gasp of terror. Father Patricio had joined him, and if he was there, most certainly someone would be expelled at the end of the day.
“Sit down, gentlemen,” the Headmaster said as he took his seat at the desk placed on a small dais, and the middle-aged priest joined him. All the boys took their places in an almost complete silence. Guntram felt his heart beat very fast, but said nothing as he sat between Fedérico and Mariano.
“Today has been one of the most shameful days at St. Peter's,” the Headmaster started his speech. “We have done our best to show you how to become the perfect gentlemen, but our lessons have gone unheard or have been blatantly disregarded.”
“Children are mischievous, and that is part of their education,” Father Patricio spoke, clearly stressing the first word much to the boys’ annoyance. “But today your actions hurt a creature of God. The poor animal was trembling with fear and exhaustion.”
“This kind of fearless action can only come from the Senior years,” Stoyle barked. “This kind of behaviour will not be tolerated at St. Peter's. The culprits will be punished with the utmost severity.
“As it is, the animal could have not entered the school during the morning, so the only option left is during Sunday afternoon when the boarding students returned to the campus. I'm willing to give you an opportunity to redeem yourselves, gentlemen, and I expect that you will confess of your own will.”
The silence in the room was deafening. If anyone knew anything, the pact of silence was powerful enough so as no one would break it. Guntram looked at his friends but they all looked clueless, and the ones he knew from the Fifth year were also putting their best innocent faces on.
“Should I start to interrogate you one by one?” Stoyle barked, and Fedérico mumbled, “You might as well do your job,” to a flushing Guntram.
Guntram looked at Father Patricio and saw that he was scrutinizing each one of their faces, and he felt bad because he was well aware that he had been breaking more important rules than smuggling a pig in. His face showed real guilt and the priest looked at him in genuine surprise.
“Very well, gentlemen. I'll start to interrogate all the boarders. The rest of you may return to your classes,” Stoyle said nonchalantly. “You too, de Lisle. You returned on Sunday from the soup kitchen with Father Patricio.”
Guntram was very relieved, but he felt bad because Coco and Mariano looked very concerned, already knowing that it would be virtually impossible to fool the priest about their morning's activities at the laboratory. Father Patricio possessed a sixth sense for catching people in their lies, especially young teenagers. Guntram slowly rose from his chair as the other exonerated boys went away in a silent but fast pace.
“Excuse me, sir,” Guntram said shyly.
“What is it, de Lisle?” the Headmaster shouted, and he flinched.
“I was with Father Patricio at the soup kitchen...”
“Yes, we have ascertained that. Thank you very much for reminding me my own words,” the Headmaster said with sufficiency.
“Excuse me, sir, but I would like to say something,” Guntram insisted, and all the boys looked at him in astonishment. Guntram had the opportunity to escape unscathed and he was directing Stoyle's attention towards him?
“Speak up, de Lisle.”
“When I was there, with Father Patricio, at the settlement, I noticed there were some pigs. Perhaps the animal belongs to the people there, and we should return it, sir,” Guntram said in a shaky voice. “I think I saw a hog, but I'm not completely sure.”
The Headmaster and the priest looked at each other in surprise, and Father Patricio said, “I don't remember the pigs, but it is a common practice for them to keep animals to support themselves.”
“Perhaps the pig escaped and got lost,” Guntram suggested, more shyly than before. “We should ask this people.”
Both classes looked at Guntram in hope, and Fedérico contained a chuckle as teacher and priest exchanged looks, uncertain of the best course of action. A “reasonable doubt” was floating in the air, and asking the poor people if the pig belonged to them or not was a waste of time. The answer would be ‘yes’ in any case.
“A pig is very valuable,” Guntram added innocently. “We can't keep it here, and perhaps the owner is looking for it. Maybe it entered the school premises through the fence and wandered lost till today.”
“We will investigate your allegations, de Lisle,” Stoyle said defeated, as he could not see other way out. Accusing the students when there was another very feasible explanation to justify the animal's presence would only strain his public relations with the parents.
“Until further notice, all your privileges are suspended. Dismissed!” the Headmaster shouted to the sixteen remaining boys in the room, and they all dashed out in haste, knowing they had escaped by very little this time.
* * *

That was fucking brilliant, Guti,” Mariano chortled once they were in the inner yard. All the students, communally and silently, had decided to skip the last class as there were only thirty minutes left before tea time.
“Stoyle should return the animal,” Guntram said seriously. “It's the truth, and I wasn't joking.”
“Forget it!” Coco laughed good-heartedly. “Teachers will grill it tonight! It was rosy, round and looked in very good shape.”
“Don't be nasty, Coco,” Guntram retorted.
“If you become a lawyer, call me, de Lisle,” one of the older boys chuckled, patting his arm as he passed by. “Greatest day in this smelly hole.”
“And no casualties,” another one snarled. “Stoyle must be getting a new ulcer.”
Guntram felt embarrassed as he knew that most probably the prank with the pig was one of his classmates fault, but on the other hand, the pig would be certainly appreciated by the settlement's inhabitants. 'Who could have done it? It was really funny, but poor animal. It must have been very scared with all those people running after it,' he thought.
Two of the preceptors entered the yard and shouted that classes were still not over and that they should return to their classrooms. The students howled and their feet grew roots, but the men began to herd them back to the building with soft pushes, glad that the serious students, like de Lisle, Dollenberg, Bronstein and Martínez Zuviría went peacefully by themselves, destroying the other students' justification to resist.

* * *

Feeling very tired, Guntram finished his homework for the next week, alone in his room. As part of the “privileges suspension” there had been no dessert and no TV, leaving the boys with no other option than studying. 'That fudge would have been dandy, right now,' Guntram thought, missing to have something sweet to eat.
His roommate was in the infirmary due to a strong cold, and the doctor had preferred to keep him isolated, so he had the rare opportunity of having the room all for himself. Next year, when they would be allowed to choose their partners, he was sure he would ask for Fedérico as Mariano and Juan wanted to continue together, and Coco was happy with his cousin.
Guntram organized his papers for the next day and then began to make a series of sketches of his classmates and their hunt for the pig, already knowing they would be never published in the school's magazine. Without knowing why, he also drew the toad and the faces of the poor boys. 'Hopefully, they'll get the pig,' he thought, 'but I doubt they'll eat it if they're on the run from the police. I wonder what might have happened. Maybe it was a lie from that man. Pulga is violent sometimes, but he wouldn't kill a man.
'I have to find a way to tell Father Patricio that the boys are after our throats. It could be dangerous if someone plays the hero. The police want to get them out and most of the parents too. On Sunday, at confession. Yes, that's the best moment to speak with him. Probably I'll get a slap on the head for playing the ant.'
“De Lisle, go to bed,” the warden grunted softly, his head peering through the door, not willing to shout to the young man as he was the least problematic of all the students in his ward.
“Yes, sir,” he answered, and without delay, he put together his pencils and cleaned his desk.
He changed into his pyjamas and went to the communal bathroom, carefully avoiding to be splashed by the two twelve-year-old boys playing with water, to brush his teeth. Hurrying a bit to avoid to be left in the darkness when the lights would go out, he slid into his bed and fell asleep on the spot, so tired he was.

* * *

Hey, what are you doing here?” Guntram mumbled waking up when he felt Fedérico slid into his bed very late that night.
“Sneaking in. That's all, pigeon. It's lonesome out there.”
“That’s because everybody is out but us. All who could, ran to mama. Our class has been punished, remember? But that pig show was well worth it. ”
“Happy birthday, Guntram,” Fedérico giggled.
“Was it you?” he asked in total shock. “I thought it was the Senior class!”
“Yeah, the piggy is mine,” the brunette answered with deep satisfaction. “This one will be remembered over the years.”
“It was incredibly funny, and it certainly could run. I had no idea pigs were so fast,” Guntram chuckled very amused. “Why did you do it? Why didn't you wait for next year?”
“You always feel a bit blue on your birthdays. I bet you didn't sulk at all today.”
Guntram laughed and hugged his friend before turning around in the bed to nest his head over his propped elbow. “Thank you. Birthdays are hard for me, you know?”
“Next year, I'll blow something up. Have to leave this hole through the grand door,” Fedérico said with a pleased smile, barely visible in the darkness. “I can always blame the nerds at the chemistry lab.”
“Hey! I'm one of them!” Guntram protested falsely offended. “It was really great of you,” he added softer. “Do you know what happened to the pig?”
“Grilled and served tonight at the teachers table. Why do you think they were running so fast after it?” Both boys laughed hard and the bed squeaked noisily forcing them to be quiet before the hall warden would show up to investigate the noise.
“I might have something for you,” Guntram said very softly.
“What?”
“Laucha paid me with cigarettes. He had no pencils left, and I didn't want to get him into more trouble with the Arts witch.”
“You don't smoke.”
“No, I don't, but you do.” Guntram's body trapped Fedérico's when he moved over his friend's body to get a pack of cigarettes from under his mattress, and he shyly offered them to him.
“Marlboro? I'm impressed, pumpkin,” Fedérico said with a warm smile, and his hands crossed over Guntram's waist, almost forcing him to remain sprawled over his chest. The blond didn't protest as he had grown used to be familiarly touched by Fedérico since he was thirteen years old. He only readjusted his position on the bed, so they wouldn't be touching each other so much, and rested his head over his friend's shoulder. “You should have waited for the pencils,” Fedérico added softly, still without relinquishing Guntram's waist.
“No, those come on Monday,” he said a bit embarrassed because of their close proximity.
“I'll take you out next Saturday to Tremendous and buy you a full ‘Crazy Jar’. I'll make a man out of you there!”
“We are grounded till the end of time, remember?” Guntram smirked. “Thanks to you, Einstein.”
“Wait till I plead my Human Rights case to my mother. There's not a single piece of physical evidence against us, and thanks to you, nor a clear culprit. Stoyle is only saving face with this stupid grounding.”
“What's a ‘Crazy Jar’?” Guntram asked out of blue.
“It's the drink of the gods. At the end of the party, all what is left over in the glasses is poured into a grand silver champagne bucket and raffled among the merry revellers. It's a great honour to get a sip.”
“Phew!” Guntram grimaced with deep disgust. “Have you ever drunk it?”
“Lady Fortune has never been on my side,” Fedérico said haughtily, and Guntram laughed almost rolling out of the bed.
“I'll pass your invitation,” Guntram chuckled but went serious. “I don't like it when you or the guys go there. I mean, you're playing with those girls, and they deserve some respect.”
“Father Guntram, the girls love it, and at my age you want to dip your biscuit in any coffee milk, tea or cocoa you see. Is that clear?”
“You're disgusting, Fefo!” Guntram protested with a laugh and punched him on the biceps.
“I can always marry you, if you don't want me to go to such places. Would you show me the right path?” Fedérico said dramatically, and Guntram laughed louder. “Come on, pumpkin. Let's shock my mother and your tutor. We can run away to Brazil, marry and live together for ever and ever.”
“Don't be silly!”
“You're perfect for me,” Fedérico chuckled. “You do my homework, remember my test dates, bring me cigarettes, defend my innocence from the Headmaster, are good looking—”
“And a man, dimwit.”
“We all have small defects. Once I show you what I can do, you will not want to have anything else,” he said seriously as his hands travelled across Guntram’s back to stop just before the touch would be more than a friendly jest.
“Did you study for the Alliance Française test?” Guntram blurted out, strangely confused by the serious tone his friend had used.
“Yes, I've already chosen my piece. Something from Les Amitiés Particuliers.”
“Peyrefitte? You’ll be so dead when Madame Mendoza hears you.”
“The old hag deserves a shag now and then. Imagine, the vivid descriptions of two boys in love in a boarding school!”
Dites-moi un synonyme pour le mot 'cependant', Monsieur Martiarena,” Guntram imitated her haughty accent. “That's what's she's going to tell you, and your Révolution Française will end right there. You're nuts if you think you can pull this one, Fefo. Why don't you read a chapter from Le Petit Prince? That's all what she asks.”
“‘S'il est vrai, Cloris, que tu m'aimes,
mais j'entends que tu m'aimes bien,
Je ne crois pas que les rois mêmes
Aient en bonheur pareil au mien.
Tout ce qu'on dit de l'ambroisie,
ne touche point ma fantasie,
Aux prix des grâces de tes deux,6Fedérico recited by heart, and Guntram gaped at him.
“Where did that come from?” Guntram asked very surprised.
“Some French guy. Théophile de Something. That's what I'm going to tell Madame Mendoza if she doesn't appreciate my reading of Peyrefitte.”
“You're totally crazy!” Guntram chuckled. “It's very nice though,” he said oddly moved. “Does that mean you read a non-mandatory book?”
“A whole poetry book. Short sentences, you know?” Fedérico joked in a slightly quivering voice. “Did you like it?”
“Yes,” Guntram said. “Save it for a very special girl,” he added nervously, not understanding where the conversation was going.
“Or a special person,” Fedérico said simply, leaving his words dangling in the air.
“We'd better hit the pillow. There are thousands of potatoes waiting for us tomorrow,” Guntram said blushing in the darkness and putting as much distance between them as he could in the small bed.
“You're right,” Fedérico answered and released his friend, who turned around mumbling “night” before falling asleep almost immediately, emotionally drained like never before.
'Maybe I have a chance. He did not hit me when I recited the poem. Laucha or Brown would have killed me for such a thing,' Fedérico thought as he got out from Guntram’s bed to use the empty one next to his.
'He's still a little boy, but perhaps he's not against it. He's just prejudiced.
'Maybe I have a chance.
'That would be great.'


1Ortiba, Argentinean slang for informer, snitch.
2Careta, Argentinean slang for superficial, liar, smug, arrogant or a person who does not use drugs.
3Pancho, Argentinean slang denoting a carefree, stupid or imbecile person.
4 Pibes Chorros, Argentinean slang for young robber, hoodlum, thug or thoughie.
5 Ratis, policemen; Argentinean slang term derived from ratas (rats).
6À Cloris, fragment. Théophile de Viau (1590-1626).

1 comment:

  1. And that, my dear Konrad, Ferdinand and Co., is how Guntram and the boys fool around. *laugh*

    Poor Fefo, though, his Chloris never listened to his words.

    PS Perhaps if he had sang them?

    ReplyDelete