TS 2 Chapter 4

After my previous post, it's good to change airs and carry on with the fun. I hope you like this new chapter.

Chapter 4

Guntram de Lisle's diary

November 23^rd, 2008

I don't know if I should be furious with Konrad or disappointed at him. Why the hell did he give me the speech of “I forgive you all because I love you” if he's still as sore as the first day?

I never mentioned Stefania after she passed away and I could charge him many of her insults because he instigated them. I'm certain of that.

She was so concerned about getting his wallet to risk her position with a stupid and childish series of petty attacks. If she ever went for my neck, it was because he had allowed (or eve encouraged) it. What kind of man keeps his former lover in front of his brand new wife? The whole Zurich society knew about us! Why the hell did she accept him? Money? Nothing could have paid the humiliation she suffered under him. She didn't need him and I believe she loved him in her own way.

A few hours ago Konrad and I were sharing an intimate moment. I didn't feel in the mood, but I let him do it because he had nothing for over a week and that's a lot for him. We started to kiss in the bedroom and in two seconds he was on top of me. Naturally, he realised I had little enthusiasm, so he went for the seduction part, butterfly kissing me on the neck and collarbone and going down, making me shiver as he only can do. He kissed me in the chest and bit me on the stomach lightly, making me laugh and relax. I gasped when he took my member in his mouth and sucked me, giving me so my pleasure. I was about to reach my climax when I muttered “oh, Kon...”

“How fortunate for you,” he said sarcastically and pushed me aside.

“What?”

“Our names. Both are “Kon”. Is it with a C or with a K? Did you mean Constantin or Konrad?” he slurred the words with great fury and contempt.

“Will you ever forgive me?” I shouted. “Fuck, you have nothing to forgive me! You almost killed me like you killed my whole family and here I am, hearing your jealousy rants! How many did you fuck right under my nose? Even Goran was shocked!”

“You're still thinking about him!” he had the nerve to accuse me.

“You're pathetic. You're jealous of a corpse. Are you so insecure that a rotting body is better than you?” I yelled.

“YOU ARE A SHAMELESS WHORE LIKE YOUR UNCLE,” he roared and added. “It was just a matter of time before you would start to fuck around.”

“You're right. I'm a slut because I still sleep with you. I had enough. Good night,” I said and redressed in my clothes.

I went to the kitchen and took one of the small cars keys and immediately I had Hartick standing in front of me with a “Should I drive you somewhere, sir? It's very late to be on your own.”

“Move aside,” I growled.

“Sir, please, don't make things difficult. Return to your quarters.” Another Alpha had the nerve to tell me. I exploded there. Literally. Very fast, I took his weapon from its holster and pointed at him. He feinted but he got the cannon on his forehead. “I disarmed Pavicevic once and shoot the Duke. Don't try your luck.”

Milan rushed into the kitchen and said “Back off, Hartick. The Dachs can shoot better than any of us.” The man moved aside and I opened the door and drove away.

Of course, a black Audi followed me, but I didn't care. It's their call if they want to do overtime. I parked in front of a 24 hours gas station and went inside the restaurant, full with lorry drivers and late travellers. I took a table by the window and ordered a hot chocolate. In my fury, I had forgotten my overcoat and I was missing it. I shuddered and drank my beverage and started to write with a pencil and a notepad I bought there. I needed to vent out the fury and the frustration and those pages truly helped me.

I feel bad because we both were on our throats not even after a second of arguing. I wonder if things are going to be like this from now on. One minute, I'm living in bliss with him and the next we're doing our best to destroy the other. I fear we will never recover what we had before. I don't trust him and vice versa. Constantin was my best friend, but nothing more. He knew it. Why can't Konrad learn it or believe me?

“If you have troubles you order a whiskey or at least a cake to go with that cup of chocolate, little brother,” I heard Goran's voice booming over my head.

“Hi, Goran. Do sit down, please.” I answered and moved my papers away. “Do you want a coffee?”

“This coffee should be in the Mass Destruction Weapons' List, Guntram. How's the chocolate?”

“Likewise,” I said and he made me smile with his joke.

“So it's not the ambiance and the food what brings you here. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“The Duke and I had an argument.” I confessed. “I lost my head and threatened one of your men. I will apologise tomorrow to him.”

“Not one of my men, Hartick belongs to Holgersen's team. Kick their bottoms as much as you like, Guntram,” Goran said in a good mood. “We have to cope with them for the everyday things.”

“I said “Kon” to him and he said that it was a fortunate coincidence for me that he and Repin had similar names. He called me whore and I called him freak.”

Goran looked at me and sighed. “Little brother, I will not tell you how you have to run your relationship with the Duke. What happened in the middle? You were so happy after that week in Fulda.”

“I'm afraid he will never forgive me and I can't also let go of everything that happened. I did my best to ignore, but the past is there, waiting to jump on my neck.”

“That's the job of the past, little brother. Ignoring your past will not make it go away. Face your mistakes and forgive yourself. The others will do it or not. It's immaterial, believe me. You have to make your peace with yourself and the rest will come by itself.”

“I blame myself for Constantin Repin's fate. It was my fault. Konrad told me so.”

“Come home with me. This is nothing to discuss here. Sleep at my flat and cook those bread with eggs in the morning and then, decide if you want to return to the castle or stay with me for a few days. Your room is always ready, little brother.”

“You're very kind to me, Goran,” I said and stood up, leaving some money over the table. He scolded me for forgetting to get my coat and gave me his. “I come from Krajina, this is nothing for us,” he grunted.

We drove back to his house with his Mercedes and he parked in the garage, taking almost two places. “You have no idea of the pleasure it gives me to do this,” he told me and I realised, that this was the “yuppies” former parking site. I chuckled a bit. Goran can also be a bit childish sometimes.

In his kitchen, he prepared a tea for me and we sat at the table. “As I was saying, you have to forgive yourself. Men are like dogs who can smell your fear and insecurities. It's inbred in all of us. You had nothing to do with Repin's death. It was done by his own people and he was a gangster. They all finish like this. No loyalty or respect among them.”

“Maybe you're right, but Konrad used me to plot against him. You have no idea how dirty I feel after this. I'm nothing more than a toy for him.”

“That's not true, little brother. His outburst tonight proves how sorry he is. He risked everything with this gamble because he was truly cornered. He's realising now the true consequences of his acts and feels ashamed too. The Duke did many stupid things over the past two years and he's furious with himself for almost destroying everything he had. In a way, you're more mature than him. Speak with him and tell him all what is lurking within you. You have no idea how much he misses you.”

“How do know that?”

“I know him very well. I started to serve under him directly after my father was killed in 1989.”

“Do you mean my grandfather …?” I asked horrified.

“Yes, but it's nothing of your doing. You were 7 years old. In a way it's ironic that God gave me my second chance with the son of my father's executioner. I always thought that you were a good kid and needed to be protected. What happened in Güstrow stays there.”

“Thank you,” I muttered with all my heart. Goran is my best friend and I wouldn't like to lose him.

“Stop interrupting me then,” he smiled. “When I met the Duke he was a machine. Cold, calculating and always looking for the best way to bend people to his will. Good traits for a ruler, like he is. I saw the change in him not even a day after he had dinner with you in Venice. He felt vulnerable for the first time in years and understood that he was human like all of us. He was touched by fear and doubt; almost on the brink of a nervous breakdown when he asked me to deal with the Albanians. We thought that the Russians wanted to settle the score with you and after finding the two prostitutes bodies, you would have been the next. Normally, he wouldn't have bothered to deal. You were playing in our territory without our permission and the Komtur had the right to execute you on sight. There are hundreds of boys like you, and for him, finding a replacement was just a matter of minutes, Guntram. I was surprised when he ordered me to get you out of the trouble and offer money to the Komtur or dispose him, if he was difficult to me. I saw him like a vulnerable man for the first time in 15 years. He was desperate because you didn't come to him as most people would have done and tried to solve the problem by yourself. He felt for the first time in his life that all his money and power were useless in front of your eyes and that was his first lesson in humility in his whole life. He learned that if he wanted to win you over, none of the things in which he had relied upon in the past were going to help him.”

I looked at him in shock and Goran chuckled. “Like always, you have no idea. Ferdinand told me that the poor Duke tried to impress you with a list of his banks and you didn't react at all!”

“I had no idea what “investment bank” meant,” I defended myself. “I was nineteen years old!” Goran laughed louder.

“Guntram the words “I own a bank” are honey for most ears. You were utterly happy when you got a pencils box when a one night stand was getting a luxury watch for several thousand euros. You showed the box to Michael!”

“It's a very good box. I still keep it.”

“And it was the only thing you took with you when you left.”

“I said I like it.” I repeated acidly.

“The Duke's world crumbled when you left him in Buenos Aires, just because of him, not because you had something better. Once more, all his power was useless to keep you beside him. Most people wouldn't let a billionaire escape and much less sent him to hell like you did. Lesson number two: you're not so incredible as you think and there's more joy in helping the others than in using them. You had no idea of what a week he had when you were so sick. Men truly bow unto God was your last lesson.”

“On top, you have made him happy and given him his two sons. He can't let you go and now realises how dangerous his game was. He's furious with himself and has to forgive himself before he can move on. Go to bed now, it's late and tomorrow you have to cook my breakfast.”

I could only nod and went to the guest room I'm always staying. Goran had left a pyjama. So here I'm, still writing the rest and more lost than before.

* * *

November 24^th

Yesterday morning, I was watching Goran devour the French toasts when the the bell rang and I heard the maid -already cleaning the flat- going to get it. I was in shock when I saw Konrad standing, wearing casual clothes in a working day, at the kitchen's door. Goran rose from his chair and only bowed his head at him, before he took his dish and left the place.

“You forgot your coat yesterday night, Guntram,” Konrad said shyly. “I brought it here.”

“Shouldn't you be at the Goldman Sachs' party?” I said with a lump in my throat.

“They can live without me,” he answered me, fixing his eyes into mine. “Should I bring the rest of your things?”

“No, the coat is fine.”

“Let's go home, Maus. Please. I'm sorry for all the stupid things I said yesterday.”

“I was very mean to you. Can you forgive me?”

“Yes, let's go home, Guntram,” he told me and I nodded before going to kiss him.

I thanked Goran for his hospitality and he only said “whenever you want, Guntram.” I returned home with Konrad and we were together speaking in the library about many things but not what had happened. For the first time, we both were glad to fix things and evade the problem at the same time. We had lunch together and a brief walk in the forest before he left to take his plane to Moscow.

* * *

November 20^th

Brussels

Boris Malchenko was looking a bit puzzled at the medium size painting hanging from the wooden panelled wall. It was a classical work, showing a young couple sitting in a café, and totally in love with each other. 'That thing looks very much as if it were from Guntram. Odd for a lawyer to have this. Normally they have flowers, horses or landscapes. I'm starting to sound like Constantin.' His gaze travelled once more the large and elegant, although a bit Spartan for his taste, room, enjoying how comfortable was the large sofa he was sitting in front of a small coffee table on one side of the office.

“I'm sorry for my delay, Mr. Arseniev. I hope my people has treated you well.” An elegant man said. He had an unmistakable air of superiority around him and in a way he reminded Boris to his grand grandfather, the Prince Constantin Arseniev, councillor to the Czars.

“Your secretary was very kind, Mr. Lacroix.” 'So this is the big bad wolf. Looks quite harmless; the worst kind.'

“Has Mr. Petrov provided you with what I asked him?”

“I have recorded it by myself. At the Savoy in London. Everything is there,” Malchenko said as he handed to the over sixty years man a small disk.

“Thank you. Please tell Mr. Petrov that if I'm pleased with this, I will proceed as agreed. Of course, the voices should be authenticated.”

“You will certainly be pleased. Guntram always had Mr. Repin in his greatest esteem. I witnessed it. The only thing preventing him to go to Russia were those children.”

“Guntram de Lisle, according to my information, has always been very dedicated to his duties as Tutor or to anything he does,” the man said imperturbable. “It's a trait he carries since infancy.”

“He's a good boy, a bit on the naïve side, but unable to hurt a fly. My cousin was very pleased with his performance and behaviour all over these years. It's a real pity that things didn't turn out as expected.”

“Perhaps, it's time to set things right, Mr. Arseniev. Guntram de Lisle's days as Consort are numbered.”