Happy Holidays, my friends

The Substitute 

Book II 

Chapter 5

Guntram's de Lisle Diary

December 7^th, 2008

I can't get out of my head the guilty feeling I have over Constantin's death. I should forgive myself as Goran tells, but I have to ask him his forgiveness first. I know he's dead, but I should have at least visited his grave to say goodbye. Over the weeks I've learned how to get to Smolensk. It's really far away. The airport is closed and you have to take a train from Moscow to get there. It's a seven hours trip.

I don't think Konrad will allow me to go there. For some unknown reason, he's very cross with Ivan Oblomov upon his return from Russia. I could ask -yes, like a five years old- if I can travel there, but he will say no and be alerted. He would explode once more over the “Repin issue”. I have to do it on my own and bear with the consequences. If he's furious in the aftermath, I'll go away to Zurich. I'm also tired of being just his puppet.

* * *

December 13^th, 2008

My main concern was to get rid of Konrad in the most efficient way. I didn’t want to get the others in troubles if by any chance they “would lose me” (as if I were a baby that you should look after in the park!) A “third escapade” could prove too much for Goran's nerves and Konrad’s tolerance. Milan or Ratko would not like to be on troubles with his boss and I also don’t like the idea of making their lives harder.

I had to find the way to evade Konrad himself.

The opportunity came by itself a few days ago. Köln. Jedicon 2008. Oh yes, the mighty Herzog von Wittstock would never come near to a Star Wars Convention, but I need to get him there so I can fly to Frankfurt and from there to Moscow and train for 7 hours to Smolensk.

I took a deep breath before facing the bull in the library. I opened the door, and there he was, relatively unaware (yeah, right, Guntram) of his surroundings, reading a book on Early Merovingian Art comfortably sitting in one of the leather couches.

”Is it tea time already?” he asked me, without leaving the book or looking at me.

”We just had lunch two hours ago. Are you hungry?”

”Not really. I‘m reading.”

“Konrad, do you know this Roman Glass Museum in Cologne?”

“There’s no Roman Glass Museum in Cologne.”

“But they have this very big collection there. Ostermann told me about it some time ago!” I protested.

“Perhaps you mean the Roman Archaeological Museum. There’s a big collection, but that is because most Roman glass was produced in the area.”

“Yes, that’s right,” I said, slightly pissed off with Mr. Perfect. “I wondered if you were going to Germany in the next weeks and if you could drop me in Frankfurt. I would like to visit it.”

“Take a plane and fly directly to Cologne. Take Mihailovic with you. He likes these “cultural things,” as he calls them.”

“Yes, I can imagine. Entrance fee: 10 euros, Flight Zurich-Cologne: €4.500 because you won’t let me buy a normal ticket for €100. It’s too much!”

“Guntram, did I ever refuse anything to you? You can’t be in tourist class! Ask Monika to book you a flight and a hotel. You never go anywhere.”

“Yes, but we’re in the middle of a financial crisis. It’s obscene to spend so much money on a whim. There are hundreds of jobless people who have nothing to support their children.”

“So, which is your great idea to boost the international Economy? Fly a Low Cost company? If you fly business, the stewardesses keep their jobs and the people in the VIP Lounge can justify their salaries.”

“All right, if you don’t want me in your plane just say it.”

“No, you tell things clearly. You want a ride? Say it.”

“It was the first thing I said, but you were not listening to me. Fly to Frankfurt with you and then take a train to Cologne.”

“No. You can fly with me to Frankfurt and then continue with the plane to Cologne. You don’t have to be at a special hour. I have a meeting in Taunusstrasse next week. On Tuesday. You can come with me to to Frankfurt, return in the afternoon and we both fly back in the evening.”

“Oh.”

“What’s the problem now? Save me global warming speech!” He really looked irked at me.

“No, not that. It’s that I would have not enough time.”

“What are you planning to do in the Museum? Three hours is more than sufficient time!”

“There is this Jedicon, next week...” I confessed with my best dork face and looking ashamed.

“Heindrik is away on holidays and you won’t convince Mihailovic to enter in such a place. He hates it. Maybe you’re luckier with young Bregovic, but don't count on it.”

“Perhaps you could take a day off, on Wednesday, and come with me... You also like Roman Art.”

“I like Roman Art and I like that Museum a lot. I was there several times but I don’t share your love for Star Wars. That's final.”

“Why don't you come to the Museum only and I go to the Jedicon alone?”

“And what do I do? Should I ask for an appointment with the Emperor or should I cross to the Dark Side?” he mocked me.

“You can stay in your nice plane. It's not the first time you do it,” I answered sweetly. “You can work there in peace.”

“I refuse to be parked in a plane! On a working day on top! No way Guntram!”

“All right, then I'll stay home, I guess,” I sighed and made puppy eyes.

“Guntram, this is unreasonable! Why do you want me there? Buy the Museum's catalogue!”

“I wanted to find something we could do together, without the children. Just you and I. No Schnitzel or toys around. As we used to do before they were coming. Do you remember when we spent that Christmas in Paris or when we were in Rome for Caravaggio's exhibition?”

“Guntram, if we don't go out more is because you don't want to leave the children alone! They have a perfectly well qualified nanny in Mrs. Meyers and she can manage them well. They stay here and if Friederich shouts, they will not hassle her. They're old enough as to survive a full day without you! We were in the Summer in Fulda while they went to School and nothing happened. Heck, you don't even want to go out for a dinner or a party! I always have to go alone!”

“I have enough with your business dinners, Konrad! Do you think I like them? A party? I had enough of parties after your marriage!”

“I have apologised many times over it. It was dreadful of me to force you to assist, but you should let it go! Tita invited you several times to her villa in Como and you evade her! You didn't come to the Löwensteins' party or to any of the Foundation charity dinners!”

“I don't want to be with these people. Period. I just don't fit in!”

“You blend perfectly well with them! Most of them like you! You just broke any kind of contacts with many of them since 2005! We broke up and you just stopped talking to them! Only with some of the women from Ostermann's studio. My Aunt Elisabetta complained several times that you were not visiting her any longer, unless you were bringing the children to her!”

“This is your world, not mine! Respect this!”

“You're my Consort and you have your duties to fulfil!”

“Duties to fulfil? I didn't know I was in the bank's payroll. I look after the children the best that I can.” I was furious with him. “I hated this since the first time I was here. I'm no diplomat, no politician nor a businessman! I hate to put my best face and keep myself quiet while some cretin with millions tells me that “we have to reduce labour costs in order to save the financial system”. How many billions did all of you get to cover your own rubbish? I'm going to get an ulcer! Therefore, I avoid it! Go you and play with your banker friends because if it were for me, I would plant a bomb to give the world a better start! I cope with your shit because I love you, but don't press me too much over it because I'm on the limit!”

“I didn't ask from a single cent from the public aid packages! My institutions stand fine!” Konrad bellowed.

“I didn't mean you personally. Your friends and associates did! I bet you even helped them to cut the beggars' line!”

“I will not discuss my business with you!”

“Fine!” I shouted and left the room almost slamming the door behind me. I didn't do it because I didn't want the children to find out were arguing once more. The perfect “consort” for him was Stefania; she loved that shit and was good at it. Hell, several times I thought she was going to break her neck running the stairs down with those high heels! The Call of the Wild. I hate it!

Konrad and I have different natures and ideals. That we love each other doesn't mean we can live together. Before I was younger and willing to accept his world and bend myself to it, but I'm 26 years old, and, let's admit it, more stubborn than before. Fuck, they should also accept me as I am. I need some freedom and authenticity to create and I never wanted so much money in my life!

Maybe I should take some distance from all this, but in a way that doesn't hurt the children. I don't want Klaus or Karl to suffer again because of our misunderstandings. I can't tell him that I need to go to Russia because he will explode and lock me up under seven locks. Is it normal? NO, of course not! He would shout something like “the Consort should not visit another territory without the Council's permission.”

I walked toward my studio, but checked on the children's room before but they were away in the forest with Nanny Carolin and their sliders, so I went there to continue with what I'm working now. I started to paint, but I was still too enraged and almost ruined it. I stopped and decided to sit for a while by the window, looking at the snow in the garden.

An hour later, I knew what I should do. I got out my mobile and dialled Goran's number. He answered it after the second ring -yes, that's Goran, if he doesn't pick it up after the second, he does not want to talk with you-.

“Hi, Goran. I've been thinking what you told me the other days and perhaps I should do it.”

“Little brother, speak clearly because the thing with the thing kind of phrases are not my speciality. What did I tell you?”

Ha ha, how funny Goran can be! “The flat on the floor on top of yours, the one with your former tenants.”

“They were never my tenants. I would have never accepted a couple of yuppies in my house.”

“Yes, I know. You would have never taken such people in, but did you not buy the flat two months ago?”

“To evict them! They were driving me mad with their noise and parties! Fortunately, they're away and I have my peace again,” Goran sighed. Yes, I know. It was hard for everybody. A sleepless and cranky Goran is bad. On top, the recently married couple had many, many friends who loved hardcore and rap music. Alexei was nearly running to Karachi to avoid him!

“I wonder, what are you going to do with the flat?”

“Nothing. I had enough of noise and footsteps on top of my head for the rest of my life. I haven't thought about it. I don't need more space.”

“How much did you pay for it, if it's not too much to ask?”

“Over a million francs. It was a good price.”

That's too much for my finances. I have over 300.000. “Could I rent it?”

“What for? Are you at odds with the Duke?”

Better be honest with Goran. He knows immediately if you're trying to lie to him. “Not yet, but soon to be honest, my friend.”

“Why? Was he nasty to you?”

“No, no. Nothing like that. It's just that our characters don't complement each other so well. Also we are on the edge almost all the time. I guess we can't let go of our grievances. I think on Stefania and he thinks on Repin. I'm not sure if this will work at all.”

“I see. Do you want to move here with me for some time?”

“No, no. I want to have a place of my own. I feel that my time here is almost over and I want a place where I can be with the children if we break up. I can't live through another experience like the one from 2006 to 2008. The pressure nearly killed me and if we fight, we need a clear cut. I would like to move my studio to this flat and I promise to be quiet as a mouse. I don't even have an iPod! I could pay rent. I'm more or less known and have an average income of 3.000 Francs per month, unrelated to the bank.”

“Little brother, you know I would never charge you, but is it a good idea, really? The Duke will explode the minute you set a foot outside the house.”

“I can imagine. This is why I have to go to a place where he can be certain about my safety. Can you imagine me smuggling a lover under your nose?”

“No, not really,” Goran chuckled. “But you don't need to pay me rent.”

“No, I want to. I want something I can call my own. Nothing that belongs to another.”

“Why don't you buy a part of it? What I paid was a fine price as the owner needed cash.”

“Goran, a million is too much for me,” I admitted.

“How much do you have?”

“A quarter of it, in bonds expiring next February and some stocks.”

“I thought you had less,” he told me, sounding quite surprised.

“I was lucky with the market.”

“All right, I can sell you a part of it. Let's say a 33% for 275.000? Can you meet those terms?”

“Goran, you paid more than a million for it! I can pay with a lot of luck 25% of it, considering taxes and paperwork!”

“Forget it it. It's on me. My option is to have a million euros stuck in a flat I will never use or make profit out of it. I have no children to leave it, so for me is better to recover part of my cash. But there are several conditions Guntram. First; NO parties or any kind of noise. If I hear music, footsteps or that dog of yours, you're out. I want to have my peace. Second: no people inside beside us. Third: You share the security with me and say nothing when I send one of my teams to fix it before you move in. This is not open for discussion. Take it or leave it. Fourth; you pay the expenses and the insurance it has. We share the taxes proportionally. Fifth, I chose your domestic service. Sixth: No alterations to the property without my written consent.”

Wow! And he likes me! “All right, Goran, but I can give you an advance on the money from the stocks and the cash, till I sell the bonds.”

“No need to. I can wait till its maturity date.”

“Goran, you're losing money.”

“No, I can recover it in the market in no time. I'm perfectly fine with those terms, little brother, but you will have to tell the Duke that you want to move with me.”

Small detail I had forgotten. “I'm not moving with you, just organizing things and going to paint there. It's near Ostermann's. I only want to have a place just in case we have to part our ways. I don't want to leave the children.”

“Call this lawyer friend of yours and he should phone me on Monday to the bank. My lawyers will speak with him and prepare the documents. The flat is newly painted. You can change the colour as long as it's not pink or red. Take Holgersen to IKEA. The prince could use some reality in his life,” he snorted.

“IKEA? What's that?”

“Look for it in Google, Guntram,” he chortled. “Perhaps is also good that you take a walk on the wild side too,” he laughed now and hung up the phone.

Disoriented I doubted if I should look in Google for this IKEA guy, (perhaps he's a trendy designer and I have to go his studio with Posh Heindrik, brimming with happiness) or call Nicholas Lefebvre, my father's best friend in the University and “my lawyer” since 2005. The man has been very generous as to help me with several documents like when I had to stop the school fund Konrad set for my University expenses and we were ignoring each other, check my contracts with galleries or with the publishing house and he never wanted to see a cent from me. Nicholas also draw the papers when I wanted to resign my duties as Tutor or Guardian of Estate for Klaus and Karl. He charges several thousand euros just to hear your problems. I met him at a Christmas party in 2005 and since then, he has been a good friend of mine. I gave him several of my paintings and he visited most of my exhibitions. He has a law firm, a very large one, with five more partners and they have offices in Brussels, Paris and Geneva: Corporate Law are magical words indeed.

I decided to call him as it was no more than four and it was still a good time to call on a Saturday. I dialled his number and an unknown voice answered it.

“Lacroix speaking.” Damn! I got the other partner. The Senior Partner -yes, with capital letters as he owns 65% of “Wolfensohn and Partners” and has more thorns that a hedgehog. I mean, according to Nicholas, he does all the legal work and manages everything, but he never visits people as he hates socials. “Hell of a lawyer, Guntram. As good as your father was.” I think he bought one of my paintings in Berlin last April.

“Hello, Mr. Lacroix. My name is Guntram de Lisle and I thought I was calling Mr. Lefebvre's phone, but I guess I have it wrong. I apologise for the inconvenience,” I said very sheepishly. The less I want is to get troubles with Nicholas' boss!

He took his time to answer me and I could hear him grasping. It's not that bad to speak with me! Even if you're a hermit, according to Nicholas!

“No, it's all right, Mr. de Lisle. This is Dr. Lefebvre's mobile. I have it for the weekend as he's gone to Geneva to run some errands. How may I help you?”

“I'm sorry to bother you, Mr. Lacroix. I'll call him on Monday.”

“No, it's no bother at all. You can leave him a message with me. Nicholas would be most upset with me If I don't speak with you. He considers you as the son he didn't have when he was young.”

Great! I've been adopted by a Corporate Shark Lawyers Firm! I wonder who's the greatest shark there; the lawyers or the tycoons? “Really, Mr. Lacroix. It's nothing.”

“More than thirty years in this business have taught me that when the client calls on a Saturday, it is because he is in troubles,” he chuckled. “Forgot to make your tax declaration?”

“No, nothing like that, sir,” I also laughed and strangely I felt compelled to speak with him because he had a kind grandfather's voice. “I agreed to buy a part of a flat in Zurich to a friend and he told me to ask Nicholas to contact his lawyers to draw the papers. Nothing else.”

“Why are you buying a flat?” he asked with real curiosity.

“It's not a flat. In the moment I can't afford a flat in Zurich. A part of it; 33% I think it's time to have something of my own in the city.”

“Troubles with your... boyfriend?” he asked me and I never heard so much contempt in the last word as today. Great, the lawyer is homophobic and here we are, discussing over this.

“No, nothing like that. It's just I have some spare cash and I wanted to have something in the city.”

“Strange that you're buying only a part. Will he not help you or let you have a mortgage at his bank?” Again he spoke with real contempt in his voice.

“I want to leave him out of this. It's my money and I don't want to make debts. I pay the part I can afford and I hope to buy the rest in the future,” I said very sharply. “It's a large property in front of the lake. Almost a 100 square metres.”

“Guntram, you can tell me if there are problems between you two. I know Lintorff's way of doing business and several of his companies use our services. I wrote the documents when you wanted to resign and leave his service.”

“There are no problems between us, Mr. Lacroix. We're fine. It's just that I want to have something unrelated to him.”

“Guntram, don't think that you're alone, child. Many people care about you,” he told me softly and I was astonished. From where the hell came that?

“Thank you. It's just that...”

“Things are not going well. I'm not surprised. You ceased for some time to live together and once something is broken, it's broken no matter how many times you try to mend it. There's always something bitter around, poisoning you.”

He's right, but I don't want to accept it. “I think that if we don't work out fine, I should have a place to move and still see the children. I will not repeat the Tutor experience again. I just can't. The stress nearly killed me,” I confessed to a perfect stranger.

“Who's the seller?”

“Goran Pavicevic. He's a good friend and the Head of Security in the Lintorff Privatbank.

“Guntram, child, all these people are on his side. You have already felt it.”

“Not Goran. He was a good friend and fought on my behalf several times. I trust him.”

“Still, I think you should not buy a part of the flat. Send the details to Nicholas by e-mail and I'll ask my people to check the property. One never knows what kind of surprises could show up. Nicholas will be in Geneva next Thursday. Have lunch with him there and he will give you my answer,” he told me. “Good bye, Guntram. It's been a pleasure to speak with you.”

“Likewise, Mr. Lacroix. Good bye.” I tried to say, but he had already hung up. This Lacroix is very bossy. He has already organised a lunch for his partner without asking him first! Coming to think, he's the boss.

I went to my desk and opened my laptop to write the e-mail for Nicholas and I realised that in less than two seconds, Konrad and the whole software team in the bank would know that Guntram de Lisle had started to play in the Real Estate Market. I'm sure they still check my things as they did in the past!

Konrad paranoia has no limits!

I took a paper sheet out from my drawer and started to write in the old fashion. I'll post the letter from Ostermann's studio. I know it's stupid to do this because Goran will tell Konrad on Monday, but I'm sick of being spied on.

No, Goran will say nothing. He's silent as a grave. He will let me do it at my own pace unless he sets a deadline “for telling the Duke”. If Konrad shouts with him, he will only give him one of his cold stares (and freeze your blood) and let him rant.

Just when I had finished the letter for Nicholas, explaining him my reasons to do it (and spending most of my capital), I heard a soft knock in my door. “Come in,” I said and it was Friederich.

“The Duke wants to have tea with you and the children now, Guntram.”

I would have preferred to stay in my studio, but I didn't want troubles with the small ones. “Yes, of course, Friederich. I'll come downstairs in a minute. Are the children ready?”

“Mrs. Meyers is changing their wet clothes.”

“Thank you,” I said and he looked at me suspiciously. He knows already we were arguing again! Does he have a radar or what?

I went to the small dining room and the table was already set and Konrad was sitting alone -without his book this time- I said nothing and sat at his right as usual and he looked at me very carefully, exactly as Friederich. It was an awkward silence as none of us said a word nor exchanged looks. I was too busy checking that the silverware was shining. Fortunately, the boys ran into the room and jumped on top of their father.

“Are you better Guntram? Papa told us you have a headache,” Klaus said when he saw me and left his father to sit on top of my lap and Karl wanted to do the same, but his brother occupied all the space and put his arms around my neck, ready to defend his position. Karl preferred to expand himself in his father's lap.

“I'm much better, thank you. How was your afternoon with the sliders?”

“Great! Karl fell many times over!” Klaus told me excitedly and I smiled.

“Not true! You also fell! Seven times! I counted them! You hit the tree too!” Karl defended himself. “Papa!” he whined.

“You fell nine times!” Klaus rebuked. “Guntram!”

I sighed. The original plan of sliding up and down the hill to make them tired had miserably failed. They were feisty as usual and hungrier than ever. “It's enough boys, this is not a competition.”

“Take your places and be quiet,” Konrad finished the discussion sharply. “Little children should be seen and not heard.”

“Will you play with us later, Guntram?” Karl asked while he left his father's lap and went to his place at his left and Klaus imitated his brother's movements. After all, they don't want troubles with him, too.

“Leave Guntram alone for one day. He's tired and needs to rest,” Konrad said very sternly and I looked at him.

“I'm feeling much better, Konrad. We will go to the playroom and draw something. We have to check also your homework, young men,” I retorted, a bit irked with his ways.

“As you wish,” Konrad answered and shook the napkin open. “Dieter, you may serve now.”

He was certainly in the mood! The boys were clever enough as to be quiet and don't fight over their pieces of cake.

We played in the playroom and made the homework together, Klaus complaining a bit about the fact that he had to work on weekends too. At 8:30 I had them ready to go to bed and with their dinners in and bathed and they accepted their nanny would tell them their bedtime story. I kissed them good night and went to my bedroom to change myself for dinner.

I was expecting to find Konrad in his studio, where he had locked himself after our “exchange of opinions”, but he was not there.

He was in the bedroom putting on a Patek Philippe on his wrist... One that matched his double breast tuxedo.

“Is it not too much for home?” I asked.

“It's a black tie party. Rainer von Lindenburg's wife's birthday. You were invited too, but I assume you don't want to come. Good night. Don't wait for me up.”

“I don't remember refusing to go,” I said calmly.

“You were perfectly clear this afternoon, Guntram,” he told me very coldly and took his overcoat, gloves and white scarf. “I'll see you tomorrow at Mass.”

“Are you not coming back?”

“No, I'll prefer to stay at the Ritz. It's there and I don't want to drive back so late.”

“As you like. Enjoy your evening.”

“Rest assured I will,” the idiot dared to gloat and I nearly smashed something against his head. I truly wanted to. How right was Stefania to hurl things at him! I can totally understand her! He passed next to me and I had to move to let him pass.

Now is almost 10 p.m. and Guntram, the idiot, sits on a Saturday night at his desk writing his diary like the little good boy he is. I had dinner alone, as even Friederich disappeared to something from the Church, and went to my studio to write and now I should turn myself in.

No way in hell! I'm 26 years old! He's 51 and probably drinking and looking for someone to fuck! I know him perfectly. If he doesn't come home means that he has something murky lurking there. Normally if he goes to a party, he immediately comes back home to sleep with me! Staying at the Ritz? He has someone booked for the “after hours”! I know exactly his modus operandi from his time with Marcello Moncenigo, when he had no problems to almost fuck with him under my nose!

I will not give him the satisfaction of a jealousy scene, but I will not stay here too, like the good wife! I'm going out too!

* * *

Guntram de Lisle's Diary

December 14^th, Sunday

Yesterday night, I wanted to go out. To the movies -big escapade if we consider that my “consort” was probably in the middle of one of his romps- but I met Soren Larsen, the Enforcer, at the kitchen when I was looking for the BMW's keys.

“Are you going somewhere, sir?” he asked me very politely.

“To Zurich.”

“It's almost eleven, sir. Most places are closed now.”

“I'm going to the cinema. Is that a problem for you, Larsen?”

“It's minus 8ºC tonight and the movie will finish very late for you, sir.”

Does he think that I have a bedtime like the children? “Thank you for your concern. I'll be fine.” I mumbled and took the keys from the box. “I'll drive back directly.”

“I'm afraid I can't let you do this, sir.”

“Are you forbidding me to go out?” I asked incredulous.

“No, Sir. I can't do that, but I will lose my job if you go out at this hour, with this cold weather and without an escort as you plan to do. I have a family to support and a mortgage to pay. Please, stay at home and I'll drive you tomorrow wherever you want.”

“This is insane!”

“Your heart condition does not allow you to be in the cold or driving in the night. It's very stressful and the roads are full with young careless drivers. Please, sir, return to your quarters.” And he blocked the door! Really! I just looked at him in shock and fury. “Please, I have two daughters.”

He got me there. After all, I don't that the guy gets in troubles because of the asshole I have for Consort. I huffed and turned around to return to my room and at 11:17, I was in bed, with lights off.

This morning, I woke up very early and said asshole had still not returned from his party. Guess he's not so fit as before to repeat his earlier “bed jumping”. Guess, he needs to sleep longer to recover himself. I got dressed for the service at ten and went to have breakfast with the children.

Konrad certainly arrived for Mass, as promised and went directly to change himself. I ignored him and preferred to leave my place in the pew to Adolf zu Löwenstein and his wife, remaining with the children in the back part of the Chapel. I nearly had a fit when I saw him going to confession!

Now I'm positively sure he was into something!

It was very hard for me to “fulfil my duties” as consort and speak with Adolf, Ferdinand and their wives before lunch. They left after coffee and Konrad took the children for a walk in the forest. I remained working in my studio and preferred to avoid teatime as I was so furious with him that keeping a straight an amiable face in front of the boys would have been impossible. I had finally gotten yesterday's announced headache! I worked the whole afternoon and only left the studio to kiss the children goodnight.

Around 8;30 p.m, Friederich told me that the Duke was waiting for me to dine. “No, thank you. I'm not hungry. Please, offer him my excuses.”

“As you wish, Guntram.”

“Friederich, is there any free bedroom that is ready?” He was shocked to hear the question and just looked at me with big eyes. “Is there one or should I drive away now?” I repeated.

“No, you can take the blue one in the second floor of the tower. I'll tell Dagmar to prepare it for you. It's a room for family guests.”

“Thank you.” I assume Friederich ran away to tell Konrad.

I moved some of my personal things like my pyjama and tomorrow's clothes to the other room, the maid looking at me with big eyes. Sorry, Dagmar; your boss is going to be cranky tomorrow, but he leaves early in the morning.

I was in bed at 10 p.m.!

* * *

Monday

This morning, I found a bug in my bed in the blue room. A large and nasty one.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” I shouted and pushed Konrad out of my bed, but I couldn't move him. How did he dare to sleep in my bed after I had moved away from his? Does he not understand that I'm furious with him?

“You didn't come to bed, so I came here,” he just said.

“Well, you never have no problems to find some place or someone to accommodate you.” I mocked him, trying to keep my voice low. “Where did you sleep on Saturday? Or should I ask with whom did you sleep with?”

“I stayed at the Ritz!” he roared. “Since you're back from London, you're absolutely impossible to deal with!”

“Am I impossible to deal with? Who smuggled himself here? I didn't ask you to be here!”

“You're my consort and we sleep together!” he shouted me. “For the past three weeks you have been suffering from permanent headaches!”

“And you needed to go to the Ritz for some aspirins?”

“Don't be vulgar, Guntram!”

“Really? I know you very well. You were running to confession!”

“This is too much! This is a sacrament! First you accuse me of something and now you take lightly our beliefs?” He really sounded offended, but I know him better to buy his crocodile tears or “innocent dove attitude”.

“I'm not mocking my Church, you have been into something Lintorff. I'm perfectly sure. You can't even look me in the eyes! Who was it? A woman or a trader? You look exactly as when you were fucking with Moncenigo!”

“What do you want me to tell you? That I met someone from before, had a few drinks and we went to bed because I got nothing for the past month? Is that what you want to hear?” he challenged me. “I'm also tired of all this.”

I was mute and shocked. I took my robe and went for the bathroom to change myself. I heard him closing the door and I felt like dying. Had he really done it?

He never bluffs.

He wouldn't dare.

I took the children to school and went to paint at Meister Ostermann's studio till 4 a.m. I picked up Klaus and Karl from the school and they were playing with me in the nursery till their bath time.

Friederich told me that Konrad had flown to London and New York and will be back on Friday.

I'm now positively sure he was doing something wrong and wants to hide it. I have nothing to back my theory, but he had not denied it and even shouted that I'm guilty because I'm not “fulfilling my duties” in the bedroom.

Did he bother to ask why I didn't want to do it any longer after that horrible fight? He does not really forgive me for Constantin's and I have to forgive him everything he did to me during those two years. He paraded all his lovers in front of me! He was getting crazy every time I was going out with Alexei or Goran! I was never in an University party! He almost shoot down the poor Andreas!

I feel very bad for all what happened with Constantin. He was my friend despite all and I inadvertently betrayed him. His wife used his inattention to plot against him! His own people raised against him! Konrad used me to lead the others to depose him! He was so alone in the end.

I don't know if I'm a piece of shit for being the bait or an idiot for not realising that I was just one of Kornad's pawns.

* * *

December 16^th, 2008

Tuesday

I was surprised to get a call from Michel Lacroix, Nicholas' partner, but he was to confirm me that Nicholas would meet me for lunch on Thursday in Geneva.

“Mr. Lacroix, there's really no need to bother Mr. Lefebvre for this. I can send him the conditions by post.”

“I insist as I was checking on your father's last will and found a clause that allows me to anticipate the transfer of St. Lazarre's safe box. According to the last will I have in my power, you were not supposed to be informed of it until you turned thirty years old, unless some reasons of force majeure would made me think otherwise. He preferred that you learned to fend by yourself and worked to support yourself. In my opinion, that you need to buy a house in Zurich is a good enough reason to do it.”

“Did you know my father too? Nicholas never said a thing!”

“No, I had no relation with Jerôme de Lisle. I'm just the executor of his last will. He wrote it in 1989 and left it to Wolfensohn. I inherited it, so to speak, after he sold the buffet to me. I never met him. I have spoken with Nicholas, and he thinks that you have proven to be a responsible young man and your finances look good for someone so young who started with nothing.”

“What's inside that safe box?” I asked truly shocked. “My inheritance was settled in 1989! My lawyer in Argentina saw to it!”

“I don't have the detail with me but I seem to remember that it was some jewels, gold bars and a painting. Very valuable.”

“Which painting?” I asked with a knot in my throat. It couldn't be it! I had a copy of a Bronzino Madonna in my room as child and it had vanished after he died! I thought it had been sold like the rest of his belongings and I loved it because my papa had given it to me! He said that it reminded him about my mother.

“I don't know. You should look. Something from the Renaissance and original. Very valuable. If you sell it, you can pay for the entire flat.”

“If it's the one I think it is, I will never sell it. It was a gift from my father. I believed it lost forever! It was in my bedroom in Buenos Aires, hanging over my bed and my father used to sit there to tell me bedtime stories or something about my mother. I had a teddy bear too, Jacques.” That part escaped from my lips and I felt very ashamed to tell something so personal to a perfect stranger. I'm a dunce!

“Do you miss him?” he asked with a quiet voice.

“More that I want to admit. I visited my parents graves in Paris the last time I was there and left him a letter. I guess this was when I finally realised that he was gone,” I confessed “I'm taking your time, Mr. Lacroix.”

“It's all right. Speak with Nicholas on Thursday and go to the bank. They're not associated with Lintorff and it's a safe place for you or if you want to leave the things there. The safe box is rented till 2015.”

“Thank you, Mr. Lacroix. It's very kind of you.”

“It's certainly a pleasure, Guntram. Good bye. Be there at 12:00.”

He can be certainly bossy. No doubt. Almost as Konrad.

I called Goran to tell him that I was going to meet my lawyer for the papers on Thursday noon and he told me to take Mirko along with me. Oh, joy!!